“You are not known here except by your friends. Would they begrudge you your happiness if you found it?” he asked hopefully.
“They would not. To what do these questions tend, Mr….” she cleared her throat and smiled at his arched brow, “Patrick?” She offered softly. Her blush was warm and his relief at hearing her say it as telling as her reaction to his saying her familiar name.
“When Adelaide was called home by God after her battle with the illness, I mourned for two full years and never imagined that there was room in my heart to love another. It seemed like a betrayal to Adi to love again, but I have come to realise that she would want me to find happiness with another. Our love was such that we would want the other to be happy regardless if it was with another after one of us passed. I had decided to seek another bride for the sake of our daughter but was sure that my heart would never again be engaged. Gracie needs a mother and I need companionship, so I believed that I would make a match of convenience.” He frowned as he considered how wrong that was.
“Just like I did in my first marriage. Take it from my hard-learned lesson, Patrick, it is no way to live the rest of one’s life,” she admitted, the sadness overwhelming her because she believed he was about to tell her that he had found a woman to fill the role he had been describing.
“I completely agree with you, Charlotte. You see, the problem I have with that plan is that I have fallen in love again, something of which I never believed I was capable. I was mistaken, thinking that my heart had no more room for love of a woman after Adi. But God, in His infinite wisdom, gave the heart an unlimited capacity to love. Adi will always have a place within mine, but now I know that there is more than enough room for the lady that I have fallen in love with and pray she might one day return my feelings. Do you return my feelings Charlotte?” He held his breath and even in her surprise she could not miss the truth of his words, his eyes locked onto hers as he stared at her with a Darcy like intensity.
“I admit that romance was the last thing on my mind when I accompanied Eliza. I never thought myself a romantic, which made me reconcile my acceptance of the offer from my late husband.” She saw the worry that she did not return his feelings and reached out to touch his arm to soothe him; herself soothed when he covered her hand with his own. “Fortunately, that has changed, Patrick, as I, like you, who never expected that her heart would be touched by a man, find myself in love. I never thought to experience such joy, but I have fallen in love with you, Patrick, and am grateful to know that I have not done so alone.” She smiled at his hopeful expression. “Yes, I love you too,” she promised, gasping when he dropped to his knee.
“Charlotte Lucas Collins, I love you. I will endeavour to make you happy for the rest of your life, for the rest of our lives. Will you accept my hand in marriage?” He had progressively squeezed her hand tighter as if she might run and he needed to keep her, but she was quite disinclined to try.
“Yes, Patrick, yes, yes, yes! I will most definitely marry you. When do you want to marry and what about the mourning? How can we best put my past behind us? If it were possible, I would demand to marry you today before someone else tries to throw me over his shoulder. I would have to take Grace with me and you would have to come steal us both back. Do tell me, how we can avoid all of that?” Charlotte was happy that he had not sprouted flowery nonsense like her first proposal, but could not help teasing him. Her Patrick, like Richard and Lizzy, caused all those around him to gravitate closer to him in the hope to catch but a small bit of his happiness andjoie de vivrefor themselves. His laugh could likely be heard in Lambton and he looked at her with such pleasure she could not help but laugh with him.
“That does seem like a lot of effort that could be avoided for both our sakes.” He lifted her hand and kissed it gently. “You have made me so very happy, Charlotte, and I know that this will make Gracie ecstatic as well. She already loves you and will be overjoyed that you will be her Mama.” He again kissed her hand and addressed what for her was the biggest barrier. “The mourning is easy. The year is not a rule, it is just what most do. You have mourned for more than three months, correct?” he asked.
She confirmed what he had suspected. The length of time elapsed was in fact above four months.
“Go into half mourning. Then, if I have calculated correctly, we can marry in about two months, which is after six months complete. We can start the calling of the banns, which will add another three weeks. I mourned for two years as my feelings for my late wife dictated my action, not society. Given what you have told me about your late husband, six months is five months and three weeks more respect than he deserves.”
“Itismuch more than he deserves but it was more for me, allowing me time to stop being angry at myself for such a decision as I made to accept him. You helped me see that God works in mysterious ways. Were it not for what came to pass, I could not now be standing here with you, so in love with you that a woman of lesser constitution would swoon under the weight of it.”
She smiled to herself when he laughed, but it was the truth. If this is how Mary felt when she was desperate to claim her Hugh and have done with the waiting, no wonder she had expressed her discontent with her father when he had imposed the time constraint on them. Charlotte had always known she and Mary were more alike in personality than Mary allowed herself, especially when she had gone through life hiding from herself, as it was easier to try to supress her emotions. “Can the banns be called so they will coincide with the end of the six months? He does not deserve six, never mind three additional weeks!” she added hopefully at which he just nodded his agreement.
“If you swoon, I promise to catch you,” Patrick vowed quietly as he slowly leaned in and allowed the tension to build so she could be in no doubt of his desire for her, his lips barely teasing hers before he pulled back. “Starting to call the banns before the end of the six months is not an issue as you will be in half mourning from now on.”
Charlotte, now his betrothed, remembered the chaste kiss with pleasure. She had never kissed Mr Collins but on his cheek, so yesterday had been her first real kiss, though not yet her first proper one. Charlotte laughed softly to herself and had to admit she was looking forward to many more kisses as she revelled in the fact that it was with a man that she loved.
She was only sorry that they had not more time to repeat even the chaste kiss before Miss Jones had cleared her throat to indicate that was quite enough liberty allowed. She went back into her bedchamber where Watson was waiting for her to dress. Luckily, she had a mauve day dress with her, which she donned as today she was going into half mourning. She was about to meet with Patrick and Gracie in one of the parlours below, and later she would hie to Lambton to see the seamstress and order more gowns and dresses appropriate for this phase of mourning before she could finally start living the life God had gifted her with. It also meant that she could enjoy the full celebration of Anne de Bourgh’s wedding.
As Charlotte entered the parlour, a yellow dress flew towards her in a blur of colour and ringlets, and Charlotte leaned down in time to catch the girl within her welcoming arms, squeezing her until her Gracie giggled delightedly. Charlotte had never imagined that a five-year-old was so strong as the girl returned her hug as if her very life depended on never letting go.
“You are to be my Mama!” Grace demanded and gave her a wet kiss on her cheek. “I am so happy now. Papa could not have chosen a better Mama for me because you already like me, you promised you did when we were by the river watching the animals.”
“Well, despite your inclination to try to make a home in the mud like Mr Toad was, I do like you, very much, just as I promised. But I also love you, and I will love you for the rest of your life.” She nodded when Grace wrapped around her, holding her tighter and tighter until instead of quiet sobs she again laughed.
There was no one in the parlour not touched by the little girl’s effusions. Miss Jones was very happy for Mrs Collins, who would finally have joy in her life. Watson took Grace’s hand and led her to the nursery so that the adults could talk. Miss Jones left to sit outside the parlour with the door remaining half open. The first thing to be resolved was a wedding date. They picked the twenty-first day of September, a Monday as it was a sennight past the six-month mark since Collins’s passing. The first calling of the banns would be two weeks prior to the six-month mark, but as they had already discussed, they could not repine the decision. Charlotte deserved her happiness so there would be no delays unless completely unavoidable.
The conversation next turned to the business side of marriage. Elliot had never asked Charlotte about her financial position as he knew that her husband was a fool, but he wanted to put her mind at ease.
“It pleases me greatly that you have never asked me about my finances, which shows me that you are not interested in me for pecuniary gain.” Charlotte nodded for him to proceed. “I own a medium sized estate, Riverdale, in Shropshire that I inherited from my maternal grandmother. I lease the estate to a tenant as I have no need for it at the moment. It brings in a clear four thousand a year. I plan to use some of my funds to add land to its holdings before I, we, decide to reside there.
“If God gifts us with a son, the estate will go to him, but if not, Grace will inherit as there is no entailment on the property. I had a fortune of thirty thousand that I have just invested with Lady Elizabeth’s uncle, Sir Edward Gardiner. Under the company’s stewardship the amount is significantly larger now. I had no idea of the connection until recently; it was done on a recommendation by my father. From what I have seen of the success that he has had, there will be more than enough to provide Grace and any future daughters we have with a decent dowry, as well as a legacy for a second son and beyond. On top of that, with the three livings that I have, I earn a little less than two thousand a year of which, after I pay part for the curates—my patron would not allow me to pay all—I only spend a small portion and most of the rest goes toward my investments. I hope that you can see that even if you have no dowry and it was your first marriage, we would not suffer financially,” he informed her as he again took her hand in his.
Charlotte was flabbergasted; not in her wildest dreams had she believed that she would attract a man such as this. Yes, he was wealthy, but more than that he was a good man, a man willing to entrust his daughter, who he obviously adored, to her, who he had chosen to love. She was wealthy in her own right, so there was no reason but love to marry again. His feelings toward his daughter spoke of how well he would love any children they would have, if they were so blessed. She was deeply in love with Patrick, and more than that, she desired him.
Jane had once tried to explain it was like your soul was soothed, like a cool breeze on a warm summer’s day, but it is as if your heart catches fire and only he can keep it from burning you to ashes. It was only now, under a gaze promising so much, that she understood what Jane meant. Little more of her besides ashes would remain of Charlotte if she and Patrick did not soon marry. ‘Did I really agree to wait almost three more months?’ She groaned to herself, wondering how she would survive it with her sanity intact. She owed Jane and Mary both a bottle of sweet sherry for explaining to her what it was like to feel so deeply.
“I too am glad that you never asked about money beforehand so I am sure that you love me for who I am, not what I have.” Charlotte refocused and smiled at his surprise. He was about to be shocked and she almost laughed at the pleasure of being able to recount for him how she too could care for their family. “I too am an investor with Sir Edward. Just before he passed, my late husband agreed to break the entail on Eliza’s home, Longbourn, of which he was the beneficiary. He received twenty thousand pounds in restitution. In His wisdom, God called him home before he was able to give the funds to his patroness to waste, and as his sole beneficiary it was mine. I only planned to take five hundred pounds per annum from the earnings, which Sir Edward told me would be between two and three thousand pounds per annum. With the first disbursement, I kept five and twenty pounds and gifted the one hundred pounds to my Papa to pay for my upkeep and help him with additional funds for the family. So yes, I feel that between us we will be able to make sure that our children will never want for anything.”
“Not only am I marrying the woman that I love, but an heiress in her own right,” he teased and then grew more serious. “Do I need to see your father for permission to marry you? More importantly, would you like me to?”
“No, Patrick,” she answered softly, “there is no need. It has been some years that I have been of age and more than that, I am also a widow. No one but myself needs to be applied to, as you have done so already, I believe we are ready for the banns,” she winked at him and he groaned, wishing it were so. “I will write to my Papa to inform him, and give him the information for the banns to be read in Meryton. If you would like to, you may include a letter to introduce yourself. More than that will not be necessary.”
With the decisions made, Elliot collected an overjoyed Grace and they returned to the parsonage while Charlotte hied to the seamstress in Lambton. When she returned, she would write three letters, one each to her Papa and Mama, and one to Eliza. Elliot had said that his letter to her father would be waiting for her when she returned from shopping.
Chapter 32
