28 May 1812
My dearest sister,
If you are reading this letter then Lord and Lady Longbourn are now your guardians, and mine too if Papa does not hold on until my one and twentieth birthday.
Yes, my sweet and loved sister, after our loss of Mama just over a year ago, to be contemplating losing Papa is beyond comprehension, but contemplate it we must. I know that you will be loved and cherished with the Bennets, Helen. I could tell how much you adore Lady Lydia from your letters that you posted to me from school.
As much as I wish that I were older and had already learnt all that is needed to run the estate so that you could be with me, I know that the reality of my abilities does not yet accommodate my wish. At first, when Papa told me that he was sick and what he was going to do for your future, I was consumed by a rage that made your anger after Mama passed look like a small pique. Once I calmed down and listened, really listened and used some of my God given good sense and logic, I understood that as much as I wanted it to be otherwise, Papa had the right of it.
You will always be a Jacobson; always be my sister; and I will always love you as such. But we have, with this decision, ensured that you are well loved and cared for. I will never have to worry about not doing the right thing for you. You are not losing a brother, rather you are gaining five sisters from what I understand. Your guardians are peers of the realm. This will expose you to opportunities that neither of us could have conceived of before, so in this sadness as we become orphans, there are some positive things to count in our prayers as blessings.
Remember Helen, you will always be the sister that I love dearly.
Your ever-loving brother,
Tim
Helen had tears of sadness and appreciation for the constant love she felt for and received from her brother; more grateful than she had perhaps ever been. She knew that for many of the ladies she had met in the school, this was not always the case. Lydia handed her a new handkerchief and gave her hand a squeeze. Helen dried her eyes and then opened the letter that she both was impatient and dreading to read.
Janet’s Well
Surrey
28 May 1812
To my one and only daughter, the light in my life,
Helen, the fact that you are reading this letter means but one thing—that the Bennets acceded to my request to become your guardians and that Lord and Lady Longbourn have just informed you of my sickness and impending end.
I did not have it in me to see the disillusionment and anguish in your countenance to tell you what you were told today before I left Bennet Park to return to our estate. Writing this epistle, my dear and darling daughter, is the hardest task that I have ever set for myself in my life, harder even than telling Tim that I soon will die and leave him alone to care for Janet’s Well.
You could be your dear mother’s twin if you look at the portrait that was taken when she was your age. It is not just her looks that you possess, but her strength and character as well. Even when I had to send you to the Dark Hollow School, I never wavered in my belief of your goodness.
You were angry that Mama left us; that I understand as I was too. I still am. I just did not display my grief in the same way. As much as I abhor the knowledge that I am to leave you and Tim forever, the only consolation is that I will be with my dear, beloved wife, your Mama, for all of eternity until we return with the Second Coming.
If I had even a modicum of doubt that the Bennets would not look after you, that you would not be loved and accepted as one of their very own, I would have found another solution, no matter how hard it would have been. You had told me that you felt Lady Lydia is the sister that you never had, and as much as I may wish it were otherwise my sweetling, I am grateful that she will be your sister and will travel through your life with you.
Knowing the willingness to welcome you as their own, I gifted them with my greatest treasure, you. And yes, I know you asked me to stop calling you sweetling on your thirteenth birthday, however, you will always be my sweetling. It is not me that will walk you down the aisle, if you choose to marry, and it will not be me that gets to comfort you, to guide you, and to love the young woman that you are becoming. I do find comfort knowing that your sister Lydia will.
Whether you marry or not, please let it be your decision, sweetling. If you find one that you can love and respect, and he in turn returns your regard in the same fashion, then marry my dear daughter. I have many regrets, but not one comes close to the anguish that I feel knowing that it will be another, not I, who walks you down the aisle. Even though you are Lord Longbourn’s ward, I would ask, not demand, just ask, that you have Tim do the honours so that although it will not be my arm, it will be the arm of a Jacobson that guides you to your groom on your wedding day.
Enjoy your new family, my darling girl, or should I say your additional family. You are still a member of the Jacobson family, no matter how it may shrink in size, and you always will be. It is just that now you are also a member of the Bennet family. Lord and Lady Longbourn will treat you as one of their own, on that I have no apprehension. Remember, my daughter, that you are the embodiment of the best woman that I ever had the privilege to know and love, your mother.
A father could not be prouder of his daughter than I. My charge is thus: Be happy, live your life to the fullest as befits your chosen path, and never have any regrets. Know that you were loved to the maximum by both your dearest mother and me. I assure you that just because we will not be part of the mortal world any longer, that our love for you will not diminish one jot. Mourn me for the six months. I am certain you will be sad; I do not want the grief to rule your days and nights, and then I want you to move on with your life, my darling girl.
You will not see your mother and me, but we will see you and will always be a part of you.
I am the proudest father who loves you more than can be measured,
Your Papa
Helen cried in her sister’s arms for a very long time and did not hear her other new sisters and the three girls who were guests enter the sitting room. It was only when she found herself encircled by a coven of young women all showing her love, acceptance, and sympathy that she took note of their presence and it was at that moment that Miss Helen Jacobson knew that all would be well even though there would be much pain. Yes, it would hurt when her beloved Papa joined Mama, but she would not be alone with her grief. She would be with her Bennet family, and her new uncle had promised that they would go to be with Tim after Papa passed.
Chapter 24
On the third day of June, a Wednesday, Madame Chambourg’s assistant modiste and two seamstresses arrived at Longbourn. Owing to the fact that her new daughter would require a new wardrobe, the Countess had sent an express to Madame Chambourg who, on learning the extent of the additional needs, sent the modiste and an additional seamstress.
Helen was slowly reconciling herself to being part of a family that had unlimited resources. When she wrote to her papa and brother, her letters were taken by one of the Bennet’s personal couriers, who was either waiting for a reply or on his way back at that moment. And it hadnotrequired a cart full of supplies to be delivered.
