“Twenty,” Carus said, clearing his throat, adding, “Everyone says I look older.”
Her father nodded slowly. “I got that a lot too as a teenager.”
“Carus,” Nya said, and he finally looked away from her father. “Tell them what you told me, about what you remember.”
Carus took an audibly shaky breath, glancing at Morgen before looking at her with a pained half-smile. “You have turned out to be a hell of a lot more trouble than I bargained for, sweetheart.”
She shrugged but offered a small smile back at him. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not big on apologizing to people who helped kidnap me.”
He didn’t laugh, instead looking at her parents, his eyes a little wide. Nya had meant it when she’d said she thought Carus appeared older than twenty, but right now, he looked…young, unsure and boyish, with a vulnerability she was certain he usually hid under sarcasm and humor.
“I doubted for a long time what I was feeling—that sureness I didn’t belong where I was when I was young—because I didn’thave memories,” he started. “Once I came to Arcadia, I met a few demi-gods who had been reborn, and they all said eventually, everything about their past lives came back to them. All I had was the memory of brief emotions and a single phrase: that I looked like him.” He paused, glancing upwards and clearing his throat again. “I guess it makes sense now, and I’m sorry for making all this more complicated than it already is. I won’t take it personally if you’re not interested in knowing me. Wedidtake you as prisoners.”
Silence fell over the room, broken only when her mother stood slowly, her entire body trembling. “Did you hear a word of what we said to Nya a few minutes ago?”
Carus’ brows rose in surprise. “Yes, but surely, you can’t actually apply those words to me. I almost killed you yesterday,” he said, glancing at Nya’s father. “I helped kidnap Nya and am leading a campaign to put Kronos’ heir back on the throne.”
“Fortunately, I’m still alive,” her father said. “And Morgen’s explanation made sense.”
Carus shook his head. “Still?—”
“But it wouldn’t have mattered,” her father cut him off, ether flaring in his eyes. “Nya could stab me in the heart and twist the knife, I’d still be trying to make sure she was okay.”
Carus shut his mouth, still stiff at the wall. Her mother took a tentative step towards him. “You don’t know me, and I don’t want to smother you with the assumption you want a relationship with either of us. I know how terrifying it is to have someone tell you how much you mean to them with little understanding of those emotions, even if you feel them yourself. Being reborn is complicated; each life is your own, and you are not expected to uphold anything from your past ones. But…if you want to know me, I would very much like to know you.”
Carus stared at her for a long time, long enough that Nya saw a little of the hope die in her mother’s eyes, at least until he tentatively said, “So you’re Nyx and Thanatos’ daughter?”
Her lips twitched. “In my first life, yes.”
“I can see the resemblance.”
She took another slow step, nearly in front of him now, tilting her chin back to meet his eyes. “Of course you’re tall,” she said with a soft laugh. “I swear, I have a permanent crook in my neck.”
“My birth mother said the same thing,” he said, his lips twitching strangely, as if he wasn’t sure if smiling was a proper reaction. “She hated it. Neither of my parents were tall, and I think she was worried her husband suspected an affair on her part. I… Sorry. If that’s strange to bring up.”
“Not at all,” her mother said. “I know it’s odd, being born into a family and being completely out of place, but no one expects you to talk about it as if it didn’t happen.”
Nya glanced back at Morgen, who was watching Carus talk to her mother with a blank expression. He looked entirely emotionless, but Nya knew better. Though she was sure he was happy for Carus, it couldn’t be easy watching this. She imagined a part of the reason he and Carus had bonded in the first place was because of their childhoods—or lack thereof. Now, Carus was getting what Morgen would never have.
“Papa,” she said quietly. “I’ll give you three some time to talk, okay?”
He glanced at her, having been watching Carus talk to her mother. He nodded then stood and pulled her into a tight hug.
“You’re still my favorite,” he said in her ear, and she laughed, pulling back and flicking his nose.
“That’s mean, and you hardly know him yet,” she said. “But I will take your favoritism gladly.”
He smiled, but it fell slightly. She could tell he was worried. “Are you alright?”
She looked at the doorway, finding Morgen had left. “I’m alright,” she said. “I’ll be back. Be nice.”
He followed her eyes, a flicker of sadness on his features before it cleared and he patted her cheek. “No promises.”
As she walked to the door, Carus gave her a smile that looked more like a grimace. But still, he was sitting with her mother and talking, and when her father joined them, he remained.
The tunnel was empty when she stepped out, and, on a hunch, she said down the pathway,Varax?
He’s out here.
