His expression shifted almost immediately when he looked at her. She hadn’t noticed the mask he slipped over his features when with her, not until now, after seeing it fall so fully for a few seconds. She wondered if he was aware how many cracks were in it.
“Get on the saddle,” he said, looking at Thessa.
“Then what?”
This time, his smirk was mirthless. “I want you to try and kill me, Soren.”
Chapter 18
Soren rearedback as if struck. The words were a harsh reminder of what she was capable of. She was a fool to think she could forget the souls she had taken last night, and this was just proof of that. But shecouldn’ttouch that part of herself, not again, and certainly not now with him.
“Did you think last night was the end of our training?” Vane asked, as if it were a casual, simple question. “You did well, but we need to make sure you can wield atop Thessilnn too.”
“I will end up killing you, you—” She cut herself off before the insult could lift from her tongue.
Vane didn’t let it slip, though. “You ‘what?’ What were you going to call me, Soren?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I was just going to…” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. You’re afraid of what I’m going to do if you insult me, aren’t you?”
“Fine!” She threw her hands up in the air. “Fine, yes. But you don’t have the right to call me weak for that. I had to survive in that palace for over a decade, and that included learning to hold my tongue.”
Fury she did not understand darkened his eyes and tightened his jaw. An unusually warm breeze disturbed the strands of her hair as she balled her hands into fists at her sides.
“I don’t begrudge your survival,” he said in a low voice. “Quite the contrary, Soren, which is why I am telling you now to let go of your fear. Insult me however you wish if it helps. I might even enjoy it.”
She hated the sudden flush of heat she felt as he tacked on those last words. He had made her kill ‘rebels’ last night, and sheknewhe was keeping secrets, and yet…
She wanted him.
It was an odd feeling, the desire. She wasn’t necessarily a stranger to the sensation, but not like this, not so sudden and raging like summer floodwaters swelling in a river, threatening to sweep her away at any moment. It was so much worse since the dream last night. In the days before, she had felt a draw to him, but now, the pull was taking shape. The vague feelings were becoming emotions she could not afford to have, not for him.
She turned away from him, striding towards Thessa, just to get some space and clarity.
“Don’t hold back,” he called.
She bit her lip until she tasted blood. This was infuriating, and he was more stupid than she had thought if he was so sure she couldn’t hurt him. She didn’twantto, but the power inside her was so strong, so overwhelming now that she had finally let it out. Stopping it would be a feat itself.
You do not give yourself enough credit.
Soren settled on the saddle.Let’s hope so. I think the commander will kill me if I kill my trainer.
You won’t.
Soren sucked in a breath as Thessa flapped her wings once, then again until they were airborne, circling the field. And Vane…
He merely stood there.
“What in the name of the gods,” Soren muttered, wind whipping her hair and stinging her face.
I believe he is waiting for you to begin. I will continue to circle, as dull as it is.
Soren shut her eyes, half of her trying to push the power down and half attempting to drag it out of the cages she kept it in. In the end, the power won out.
Thessa dove, as if sensing it, and Soren splayed her hands wide. Shadow, dark as ichor, surrounded Vane as they shot past him, low to the ground. Soren felt his life in her hands, bright and hot as a blazing fire.
She knew she could extinguish it whenever she wanted.
