“It was all we needed to see,” Lily says softly.
We sit in silence for a moment, the conversation stalling while Tucker’s name flows through my head.
But I know, deep down, it isn’t really about him.
It’s about how easily Blair and Lily saw something real when I’ve spent years making sure everything in my life looked controlled and impressive enough to defend.
Even my feelings.
Especiallymy feelings.
And for the past two weeks, working on the house,everything has felt off. It has nothing to do with Tucker and everything to do with the unsettling truth that I still can’t feel this place the way I keep telling everyone I do. I haven’t figured out a way to voice my feelings, but this moment feels right.
I keep my eyes on the glass in my hands. “Can I tell you something…without judgment or pity?”
I lift my eyes to see their reaction, and they both go still and then slowly nod.
“No pity here,” Lily says, placing a hand on my thigh. “Just vibes and maybe some sarcasm.”
I inhale, and it feels like inhaling broken glass. “I don’t feel…what I thought I would.”
Blair tilts her head.
“You mean with the fake relationship on screen with Tucker?” Lily asks.
I shake my head. “With the house. This project.” Blair sits forward in her seat, worry on her face and I let out a nervous laughter. “I know…this is very opposite of what we were just talking about. But it’s been something I’ve needed to get out.”
“You’re safe with us,” Blair assures me.
I offer her a thankful smile. “You see…my dad told me a story about how when my grandfather died before I was born, the house lost its shine. So, coming to Bluestone Lakes and taking on this project for the show, I made that my goal.”
“I love that,” Lily says with a smile.
I pick at the invisible thread of my sweatpants. “I’ve gone through every room of that house. Some of them we’ve already completed. Every cabinet and every closet,” I say. “And there are no photos, no boxes, no old letters, nonothing. Nothing that I can connect with. It’s…just a house.”
Blair frowns. “That’s kind of sad.”
“It is,” I whisper. “I was hoping for even the smallest bit of memories to be here when I showed up. I didn’t even know she died when I was thirteen.”
“What?” Lily gasps.
I nod. “My dad told me when I got offered this season ofNailed It or Failed It. I didn’t know I needed to supply a house for the project and he told me about this one and how it was left tome. I was left a house by a grandparent I can’t even remember for the life of me.”
“Scottie,” Blair whispers sympathetically.
I point a finger at her and force a smile. “Hey, I said no pity.”
She holds up her hands in defense. “I can’t help it. I feel things deeply, okay?”
We laugh lightly—and it feels good.
“My issue is that I keep saying I’m doing this for her. For my grandmother. To make it shine again like it’s some big, emotional full circle moment.”
“But?” Lily asks gently.
“But this house…it doesn’t feel like anything more than a project to help me prove to my mom that renovation and DIY work is more than a hobby for me.” I let my eyes trail down to my fingers clasped together in my lap as the familiar ache creeps into my ribs. “And I fucking hate that feeling.”
Lily reaches over, taking my hand in hers. “I am so sorry you’ve had to go through that. From watching you work here on this house and stalking you on social media—shamelessly,” she says, looking at Blair who nods her head in approval as if she made sure Lily saw my work. She turns to face me again. “I can tell you love what you do. You put your heart and soul into it, andthatalone tells us this isn’t a hobby for you. It’s your life. It’s your job. And you’re able to make sage green cabinets look like the eighth wonder of the world.”
