“How can you be so sure?”
“Do you think about her a lot?” I nod. “Do you find yourself wanting to do things with her—be near her?” I nod again. “Does your heart race when she touches you?”
“I’m not telling you about how she touches me, Dallas.”
He rolls his eyes. “I actually fucking hate you.”
“No, you don’t.You love me,” I singsong, but he ignores me, taking a sip of his drink. “Truly? My heart does circles when she’s around me. It feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. My brain can’t think unless she’s in the room. When I see her, all I want is to be near her, hear her laugh, anything.”
“As I said,” he says, smirking over the rim of his glass. “Love, buddy. That’s love.”
I open my mouth to say more, but the kitchen doors swing open. So fast that they bounce against the wall, nearly hitting Griffin in the face again. He still looks angry, but…less? He stomps to where I’m sitting, forcing me to sit up straighter in my seat. Bracing himself with two hands on the bar, stance wide and demanding, I look him in the eyes.
“You listen to me, and you listen good,” Griffin says, finger in my face.
“Oh boy,” Dallas murmurs, almost turning his body away from us.
“I fucking love you,” he states boldly. Reaching across the bar, he grips the neck of my shirt. “You hear that? I love you. You’re the brother I never had, and never wanted,” he says, relaxing a bit and almost laughing at himself.
“Slow down, Grizzly Griffin,” Dallas says, placing a hand between us.
I snap a finger in his direction. “Oh, that was good, Dallas. We gotta tell Nan that one.”
Griffin almost growls. “No. You aren’t deflecting right now. And listen…” He pauses, gathering his thoughts, and his body relaxes a bit. “I’m not going to make this about me, because it isn’t. This is about you. But you have no idea how much that pained me to hear, and everything you’ve been carrying all these years.Years, Tucker. We’re family. If you have baggage, then it’s our job to help you carry the load. Please. Fuckingplease, don’t do this alone anymore.”
For half a second, my body reacts like it always does. Deflect, grin, make a joke. Something easy to bring the conversation back to where it’s safe.
But his words hit so hard, he may as well have punched me in the sternum.
I know Griffin’s not angryat me.
He’s angry at the years of silence and the fact I’ve been metaphorically bleeding out quietly and pretending I’m fine.
My eyes sting, and I blink hard, because absolutely fucking not. I will not cry at my place of employment. I will not cry in front of these two. But there’s nothing that can stop it. “I promise,” I choke out, swatting away anything rolling down my cheek. Looking anywhere but them. I clear my throat. “I promise. No more doing it alone.”
“Brothers.” Griffin nods.
“Brothers.”
And deep down, I’ve always seen him that way.
He was never just a cousin to me.
“Now…Scottie.”
“We went there already,” Dallas cuts in, and Griffin raises an eyebrow.
I sigh. “Apparently, this is called love.”
He smiles so wide, you’d think Blair walked into the bar, but she didn’t.
“And did you tell her?”
I shake my head.
“You probably should.” Griffin shrugs.
I feel air trap itself in my lungs at the idea of even telling her how I’m feeling when I can’t even seem to describe it myself. This started off as a faking a relationship for her show. Harmless…fucking harmless.
