She’s here.
After a minute of inhaling and exhaling, I sit back on my knees. I drag a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry to show up like this. I—uh…I had a bad day.”
Her expression softens. “You don’t ever have to apologize for coming to me.”
“I don’t…” I release a long, drawn out exhale. “I don’t like people seeing me like this.”
Her thumb strokes slow over my chest. “Thank you for lettingme.”
I stare into her eyes, letting the silence stretch between us. Her hand moves to rest lightly on my forearm. I look down at the contact and then back up to her face, at the understanding already there.
She’s not waiting for me to explain more.
She’s just…here.
It’s more than I could have ever asked.
I lean closer without realizing it and press my forehead to hers. “Fuck. I don’t want to mess this up.”
Her hand slides from my arm to my chest. “You’re not. You can’t mess this up even if you tried.”
“Scottie,” I say barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to let someone in without…” I pause, shaking my head. “Without everything else coming with it. But I can’t make myself stop wanting you.”
Her eyes don’t leave mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her words land somewhere deep.
I reach for her, hands framing her face. Scottie leans into my touch as her eyes flutter shut for a brief second before opening again. The understanding and patience written all over her face nearly undoes me.
I want to tell her—I need to tell her and let her in.
But the words don’t want to come out.
The wound is too fresh tonight.
“I can’t do it,” I breathe against her lips. “I’m not ready to explain what just happened. But I want you to know I’m trying. I’m fucking trying,” I say, my voice strained as I fight back the emotions.
She presses up, kissing the corner of my lips. “I know you are. You don’t have to tell me anything right now.”
“This is all…it’s all new for me. I don’t do this. I meant what I said, I don’t let people see this part of me.”
“I know.”
“But you, Scottie…” I say, my voice breaking where I didn’t expect it to. “You didn’t just get close. You fucking pushed your way in.”
The words coming out, cracking something open in me, and I don’t fight it. A tear slips free finally, but I don’t wipe it away or hide it.
Not from her.
“I’ve spent my whole life teaching myself how to survive on my own and not relying on anyone else. And yet somehow, you walked in without asking, without forcing anything, and now you’reeverywhere.” I shake my head, almost laughing at myself. “I hear your voice in my head before I go to sleep. I hear your laughter echo in the walls of every room I’m in, no matter where it is. You’re the person I want to run to.” She sucks in a breath, and I hold her there with her face between my hands, angling her to keep her eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t plan for this, but you’re etched into me now. It scares the hell out of me because it means whatever happens next, I’m already yours.”
The words I just said should scare me.
It should make me want to run because I’ve said too much.
It should makeherwant to run at how fast it feels.
But she’s not leaving.
