Blair’s eyes widen. “Oh.”
Lily’s mouth curves into a knowing smile. “OH!”
I groan, standing from the couch and start pacing the small living room. “Okay, fine. Let’s get this off my chest.” I stop pacing. “You know what? Ineedto get this off my chest.”
Both of them sit taller on the couch, scooting closer to the edges of their seats.
“We crossed a line. Abigline. The line of all lines,” I ramble, arms waving in the air. “When I got here, I couldn’t stand him. I was pissed that I saw him again. I was angry that he walked out on me without even a goodbye after a one-night stand?—”
“He walked out on you?” Lily gasps.
“Shh. Let her finish,” Blair says.
“Yes. I almost told you two that night at Blair’s house when we had girls’ night.” I finally stop pacing, shoulders slumped. “I met him before coming here when I was in San Francisco for my interview. I believe it’s the reason the producers saw the chemistry they did. It’s the reason why I said I didn’t like him. But even then, I was definitely forcing myself to hate him.”
“I want to get this all out now,” Lily says, cheeks turning red. “We sort of already knew.”
“What?”
“Dallas was with Tucker in the city. That’s why Tucker was even there. And one night at the bar, it came up how you two first met.”
I sigh. “Okay, so I’m pacing for nothing? Nervous to tell you for nothing?”
She grins, showing her teeth like she’s sorry.
“Forget that. What’s changed?” Blair asks.
“You’re going to laugh.”
“No, we won’t.”
I fall back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “I think it’s a combination of spending so much time together, and then we had sex…again.” I hold up a pointer finger like I’m waving the white flag of defeat. “It’s ruined me.” They both chuckle, and I snap my head up, glaring. “Not funny.”
“It kind of is,” Blair says. “But I mean that in the nicest way possible because I can relate.”
Lily plugs both of her ears with her fingers. “La la la.”
“The first time with Griffin was so out of this world, it changed me. I was forever altered by it. There were feelings for him simmering under the surface, but all it took wasone timefor me to know he was it for me.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m forever altered by Tucker, but…yeah, the feelings have been tucked nice and deep here.”
“No pun intended,” Blair says, waggling her eyebrows, and I laugh.
“La la la,” Lily continues.
Blair ignores her. “I’m just saying it’s possible. You two have a history, from the one-night stand to working together on the house, and putting on this showfor the show. See what I did there?” She winks. “It’s probably a reason for these feelings to surface for you.”
“Are you two done?” Lily asks, removing her fingers from her ear. “I really don’t care to hear about my brother and my cousin having sex.”
Blair rolls her eyes. “We’re done, Lily.”
I sigh. “I don’t know. When I came here, it was solely for this show. I didn’t have a plan for after. I didn’t know if I’d stay or how I would feel about living in a house my grandparents owned when they were basically strangers to me.”
Blair smiles, softly and genuinely. “This town has a way of changing you.”
She’s right.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped needing to shine so loud. The bright colors and polished smiles are still a part of me, but they aren’t the only part anymore. I used to think people wanted perfection. That they wanted a woman who had it all together. But in this town, in that house, with these people, I have realized how much I love the in-between.
