I can just see that little pout, and it destroys me.
“I know, baby. But for now, you have to be my brave boy and be good for your aunt. Do you promise?”
“Yes, Mommy. I promise.” His small, sad voice just about breaks my heart.
Tears sting my eyes, but I fight them. “I love you so much, sweetheart. You’re the only thing that matters to me in this world. Do you know that? Mommy loves you so, so much.”
“I know you do, Mommy.”
Choking back a cry, I press the phone against my chest as the tears finally spill over.
“Come on, Milo,” my sister calls. “Go finish your food. Mama's done now.”
“I don’t want to be done,” he says, and it slices right through me.
The next thing I hear is her. “All right, are you happy now? You talked to him. I have things to do, so if there's nothing else…”
“Please just be good to him, okay?”
“I’m always good,” she snaps, then the call cuts off.
I stare at the dark screen as everything inside me cracks open. I fold forward over the steering wheel, sobs shaking out of me, not knowing if the promise I just made to my baby will ever actually come true.
It takes a while before I can breathe again. When I finally pull myself together, I start the car, edge out of the lot, and drive until I find a side street where I can park without anyone seeing me. Hands still trembling, I shift into park just as a text comes in from an unknown number.
But I already know who it is.
Eli
This is the link. Make sure you submit a hot picture of yourself. Not the way you looked today or you'll never get accepted.
I go a little lightheaded, fingers digging into the edges of my phone, but I tap the link anyway. A simple application pops up, asking for my name, age, measurements, a few “recent photos.” I scroll past that and hit the terms of use.
Once submitted, your application is final and cannot be withdrawn.
My throat dries out. So if I send this, that’s it. No changing my mind?
Oh my God. How the hell am I supposed to do this?
I keep scrolling to the section listing different auctions: a virginity auction, a marriage auction, and the one Eli mentioned, the claim auction. When I click it, a new page opens with a neat little block of text, like it’s advertising a vacation package.
Have you ever wanted to submit to someone else? Give them power over you? The claim auction is designed for those who crave giving someone else complete ownership.
Starting bids begin at $500,000. The winning claimant will take you home that night. You are required to live with the person (or persons) who claim you for a period of thirty days. During that time, you will be expected to be available to them in all ways they see fit. Upon completion of the thirty days, you will receive 50% of the final winning bid.
That means I would have to have sex and God knows what else with whoever wins me?
My head spins. I gape at the words until they blur, then hit the little X and close the page. I can’t. I can’t do this.
My mind races in circles, looking for exits that don’t exist. Maybe I can pull Milo out of school and disappear with him. Just run. Different state, different name. Live out of the car if I have to.
But the thought of him curled up in the backseat night after night like I do now makes me sick. He deserves a bed. A home. A proper childhood.
No. I can’t do that to him.
The tears come again, spilling over. The car feels smaller now, like the air itself is pressing in, squeezing my lungs until I can barely pull in oxygen.
Tomorrow, I have to see Kirill. It’s the day he brings Lev in, just like he does every week.
