Sloane
I’m so embarrassed. That was an accident. I’m sorry for even writing it. I meant to send it to Mandy because she saw us today and she was being Mandy. Obviously you’re way out of my league.
And oh my God, I’ll shut up now, and maybe change my identity and disappear.
The second I send the message, humiliation hits me again, even worse than before.
Why did I say all that? I just made things even worse.
I bury my face in my blanket, like it can conceal the fact that my soul just left my body and is soaring somewhere near the ceiling tiles. The phone sits in my hand like a live grenade. Then a new message appears and nausea rolls in my gut.
Kirill
I don’t want you to shut up. Your rambling is quite adorable. And if you ever disappeared, I’d find you anyway.
Adorable.
He thinks I’m adorable?
He didn’t say I wasn’t out of his league, but I didn’t expect him to. I mean, look at him. Then look at me. I glance down at my thighs that more than touch when I walk and the rolls across my stomach when I sit. I bet the kind of women Kirill dates are the ones who end up on magazine covers.
Not that I want to date him or anything.
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t say no if he asked.
And he’d find me? I don’t care if that sounded a little creepy. It was also kind of sweet. No one’s ever cared enough to come looking for me.
Unless they were trying to kill me, which I really hope isn’t the case with Kirill. That would suck.
Ugh, there I go, word vomiting to myself. Just shut up and fix this before he stops coming to the diner and you never see him or his sweet son again.
The thought of Lev makes emotions clog up my throat. Then my mind drifts to Milo, to his little face, to the way he’d probably try to make Lev laugh even if Lev didn’t want to.
Then the thought slips in: the four of us at a long dining table. Milo beside me with syrup on his fingers. Lev across from him, watching quietly as he lines up his French toast the way he lines up his chicken nuggets before he eats them. And Kirill with those intense eyes and a smirk he reserves only for me because he loves me.
In that life, I’m not looking over my shoulder anymore. I’m not doing mental math about money or sleeping in my car, nor am I bracing for Camille to rip Milo away from me. Because I have Kirill now, and he keeps me safe.
A throb hits the back of my nose, and I sniffle to fight the tears that come. It's stupid to imagine things that are never going to happen.
Another message comes through before I can decide whether to throw the phone into the fryer.
Kirill
Go to sleep, Sloane. And don’t worry about this. We are fine. I promise.
We are most definitelynotfine, sir. Not at all.
The sane thing to do would be to stop writing back. To put the phone down, crawl under my blanket, and stay there for eternity.
But of course, sane has never been my strongest skill.
Sloane
Can we please forget this ever happened? Just erase it from your memory, please and thank you.
The words look pathetic the second I send them, like I’m begging him to let me have my pride back.
Kirill
