“That was years ago. How many times do I need to tell you I’m not that person anymore?”
“You’re a killer, Sloane. You can dress it up however you want, but it doesn’t change what you did.”
My fingers curl tighter around the phone. “Stop it.”
“Milo would be better off without you,” she cuts in coldly. “And deep down, you know that.”
The words slice clean through me.
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not that person?” My words crack, despite everything I do to control it. “I’ve changed. I’m trying. He’s myson, God damn it!”
“That’s wonderful for you, but it doesn’t erase what you’re capable of,” she says flatly. “You can’t just decide you’re different now.”
“I would never hurt my baby.”
“You already hurt enough people.”
Silence stretches, heavy and suffocating.
“This isn’t up to you. He’s my kid.”
“So go to court, then,” she huffs. “I’m not letting him go live in some stranger’s house.”
“You don’t know him.”
Desperation clings to me, the need for her to see me for once in my goddamn life.
“I knowyou,” she fires back. “And that’s enough.”
My throat burns.
“Please,” I try, hating how small I sound. “Just let me take him for a few days. Let me prove to you?—”
“No.” The finality in that one word makes the room spin. “And stop calling me about this. I’m done having this conversation.”
“Just—”
The line goes dead before I can finish. I stare at the phone in my hand, my reflection warped in the dark screen, her words splintering in my head.
You’re a killer. Milo would be better off without you.
My knees go weak as I lower the phone, and I have to press a hand to the wall just to stay upright.
Because no matter how many times I tell myself she’s wrong…
A part of me still hears the water and knows she’s right.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
SLOANE
The next day,while I’m playing hide-and-seek with Lev after school, I can’t get my sister’s words out of my head. They follow me from room to room, circling every thought no matter how hard I try to stay present with him.
And the more I turn them over, the more I start wondering if Mandy was right. Maybe I should tell Kirill everything. Maybe he really could help me get my son back.
But what if Eli finds out? What if he thinks I’m trying to pull something on him?
My stomach knots at the thought because if that happens, he won’t just come after me. He’ll go after my sister too. And as much as I hate her, as much as I still haven’t forgiven her for any of it, I don’t want her dead.
