“We’re supposed to be friends,” he says, like he’s tortured. “I’m not supposed to feel this way for you.”
“I know.”
I’m not supposed to feel this way either.
I cup his cheek, and he leans into my touch like he’s surrendering to me even when he shouldn’t.
“You feel too good,” he tells me.
A sting lands in the back of my throat. I want this to be easy, but how the hell would we even work?
With every breath, with those eyes raw and heated, his mouth lowers until we’re barely apart and all I want is this—to feel his mouth on mine, the hunger, the want. I want to forget everything except the two of us.
“Sloane,” he groans, his lips finally brushing mine, and?—
“Papa?”
Lev’s voice cuts through the moment, and Kirill pulls back instantly as I smooth down my dress, my skin burning with a mix of want and shame.
“Shto, senok?”
“Hungry. Eat?”
“Da, da. Paydom.” He clears his throat and glances back at me, giving me a small smirk. “Let’s go eat. He’s hungry.”
“Right. Of course.”
Lev slides his hand into Kirill’s, then takes mine with his other, and when Kirill glances at me, his mouth twitches like he senses it too. This inescapable pull, this quiet sense of something forming.
It almost feels real. Like we truly are a family.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
KIRILL
You’rethe only man I’ve ever wanted.
Those words will probably end up carved on my tombstone one day. Or at the very least burned into my memory for the rest of my life. Because I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way she looked at me when she said it, like she meant every damn syllable.
Hours later, and I still can’t sleep.
Instead, I find myself in the basement gym, sweat dripping down my bare back as the punching bag swings violently in front of me. My fists keep driving into it over and over, but it does nothing to quiet the noise in my head.
Because the problem is, I believed her. I still do. That’s the fucked-up part.
That dress she wore tonight, the way it hugged her body, the way every inch of her seemed to beg to be touched, teased, taken until she couldn’t remember a life before me… I wanted to shove her up against the nearest wall, bury myself inside her, and hear my name fall from her lips until every dark thought left her head and I was the only thing she knew.
If Lev hadn’t walked in…
Blyat. I drag a hand down my face.
How the hell am I supposed to live in the same house with her and deny myself the one thing I want most?
And it’s not even just the sex. That would be easier. It’s everything else that drives me insane. The way she laughs when something catches her off guard. The softness in her voice when she talks to Lev. The way she blushes and gets shy around me, like she doesn’t realize the effect she has.
I want her to be more than just the nanny. Even if that’s the one thing I shouldn’t allow myself to have.
“Fuck!” My fist slams into the punching bag, the chain rattling above it as the impact sends it swinging.
