“Hey, buddy.” I take his hand, thanking his teacher before we head for the car. “How was your day?”
He doesn’t answer, just squeezes my fingers a little tighter, and I let that be enough.
At the SUV, I guide him into the backseat and start buckling him in, making sure the strap sits right and doesn’t irritate him.
“If anyone ever bothers you at school…” I meet his eyes. “You tell me. Okay?”
I don’t ever want him to feel alone in that place, and I know sometimes it’s easier to tell someone else before telling your parents, so I’m trying to be that safe place for him.
He grips his headphones, then lets out a sigh. I squeeze his hand once, shut the door, and circle to the driver’s seat.
The address for his two therapy sessions is already programmed into the GPS, and when I check the map, I realize it isn’t far from my place—well, the place I used to call home. Maybe I can sneak over there while he’s in therapy and see Milo, even if I have to hide in the car.
All I need is a few minutes. I just want to see my son.
The drive is short, and once we arrive, I give Lev a hug and hand him off to a kind-looking blonde he already seems comfortable with.
He peers back at me as they head in, and as soon as they do, I text Kirill to let him know all is good so he doesn’t worry.
It takes me fifteen minutes to get to my sister’s, and I sit half a block away, waiting for Milo’s bus to come, right on the corner of our street.
I don’t see my sister waiting for Milo. Instead, there’s a man, maybe in his thirties, who I don’t recognize.
Is he there for another child? But who the hell is picking up my son?
When the bus rolls to a slow stop, I don’t see him yet…until it pulls away, and that’s when I see my baby.
I’m already rushing out of the car to him, about to cross the street, but then he grabs the man’s hand and I can’t seem to breathe.
Who the hell is that?
They stroll toward the house together just as my sister pulls up, waving to them.
Is he her boyfriend?
She says something to him before heading into the house, while Milo climbs into the man’s white SUV.
I’ll have to find out who that is on my own. My sister sure as hell won’t tell me.
When they pull onto the road, I follow, taking the same turns a few cars back until they reach a park less than a mile from the house. I stop two rows over, slip on my sunglasses, and trail after them at a safe distance.
A quick glance at the time tells me I can do this and still get back to Lev. He’ll be in therapy for an hour.
I find a bench with a clear view and sink onto it, forcing myself to stay still. Milo is already kicking a ball toward him, his laughter carrying across the grass, so close it feels like I could reach out and grab it. My hands clench in my pockets so I don’t run over there, scoop him up, and forget every consequence.
When Milo kicks the ball too hard and it rolls toward the trees, he takes off after it, disappearing behind the line of trunks.
This is my only chance. The man is distracted, phone to his ear, so I move quickly, cutting across the grass and slipping toward the trees.
“Milo,” I whisper.
His head snaps toward me, and his eyes go wide.
“Mommy?” he almost shouts, the word climbing out of him like he can’t hold it in.
“Shh.” I drop into a crouch, pressing a finger to my lips. “Hi, baby. I just wanted to say hi.” The back of my throat aches. “I missed you so, so much.”
He crashes into me, arms wrapping around my neck so tight it hurts. But I’d welcome all the pain in the world if I could have him back.
