How dare he do this to me, again?!
Then he takes a breath.
"Are you sure? Think about your sister."
I go still.He wouldn’t…
I look back before I can stop myself. Back down the aisle, to the pew near the rear of the church where Laura was guided minutes ago. She's standing now. On her feet, small and rigid between the two women in dark dresses, her eyes locked onto me across the length of the church. Even from here I can see the panic in her face, the way her hands are gripped together in front of her.
My chest cracks open.
No. Not her. She has nothing to do with this —
I make myself breathe.
I look at Laura and I hold her gaze and I smile again, reassuring her with my eyes.
It takes a moment. Then her shoulders drop half an inch and she sits.
I turn back to the altar.
The anger is still there. It doesn't go anywhere. It just folds itself down into something flat, cold and patient that sits in the bottom of my chest and waits. I am aware that this is probably not what my YouTube therapist would call healthy processing, but she is not here and I am.
I walk back to the altar because what else can I do?
Movement beside me. Rafael shifts his weight and turns slightly toward the priest.
The priest opens his mouth.
"A moment, Father."
The priest slams his mouth shut for the second time.
Rafael turns to my father. “Salvatore. Now."
The words are delivered with the complete certainty of someone who has never had to wonder whether they'll be obeyed.
The church goes so still I can hear my own breathing.
And my father walks over.
What. The. Hell?
I watch this happen. I watch Salvatore De Luca, who built an empire on making other men small, cross the floor of this church because Rafael Caruso said so.
Since when does my father do what anyone tells him?!
They step to the side but they’re still close enough that I can actually hear them.
"She didn't know?" Rafael's voice is flat. "Your daughter had no idea this was her fucking wedding?”
"That's not your concern."
"Like hell it isn't. I won't marry someone who didn’t even know she was being married off."
"She’s not against the wedding." My father's voice drops. “This is important for this alliance and you know that as well as her, Mr. Caruso.”
Silence.
