The blunt reassurance breaks his restraint. His hand comes to the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair. Not forcing but guiding, showing me what he needs. His hips lift, finding rhythm, and I take him deeper. The head of his cock hits the back of my throat and I relax into it, let him use my mouth while he fights to maintain some semblance of restraint.
"Helena—fuck—your mouth—I'm close?—"
I hum around him, the vibration making him curse. His cock pulses on my tongue and then he's coming, hot and bitter, hips jerking with each pulse. I swallow everything, work him through it with lips and tongue until he's gasping my name and trembling.
When I pull back, he's staring at the ceiling, chest heaving, shock and satisfaction warring on his face.
"Get up here."
I crawl up his body. He pulls me down for a kiss that tastes like both of us, deep and hungry but also tender. His hands stroke everywhere, learning the feel of my skin, memorizing me. Cupping my breasts, thumbs brushing my nipples. Sliding down my ribs, my waist, my hips.
When his fingers find how wet I am, he groans into my mouth. "Christ. You're soaked."
"Biology. Happens when someone knows what they're doing."
His fingers slide through my folds, teasing, exploring. Two fingers sink inside me easily and I rock against his hand, needing more. "Have to make sure you're ready for me."
"I'm ready. Have been since you kissed me outside." I grind down on his fingers. "Stop stalling."
He flips us in one smooth motion. Suddenly I'm on my back and he's between my thighs, cock hard again and pressing against my entrance. But he's not moving. Just looking down at me with dark eyes full of want and fear.
"What if I lose myself? What if I can't?—"
"Then you lose yourself. I'll survive." I wrap my legs around him, pull him closer. "I want you, Eli. All of you. Even the parts you're scared of."
He searches my face for doubt. Finding none, he positions himself, the thick head of his cock pressing against my entrance. "Tell me if it's too much."
"I will. Now get inside me before I change my mind about how patient I'm feeling."
He pushes inside in one slow, inexorable thrust.
The stretch is intense—overwhelming. I haven't done this in years, and he's thick and hard and filling me completely, spreading me open inch by inch. I gasp, fingers digging into his shoulders, thighs trembling with the effort of taking him.
He freezes halfway in. "Helena—you're so tight?—"
"Don't stop." I wrap my legs tighter, forcing him deeper. "Give me a second to adjust, then move."
He sinks the rest of the way in, hips flush against mine, and we both groan at the sensation. He's buried completely, stretching me full, and my body clenches around him reflexively. He stays there, trembling with the effort of staying still while I adjust to the fullness.
"You feel incredible." His voice breaks. "So wet. So tight around me. Been alone so long I forgot what this was like."
I kiss him, deep and demanding. "Then remember. Take what you want."
He starts to move. Slow at first, measured thrusts that drag his cock against every sensitive nerve. Pull out until just the head remains, then sink back in deep. The friction is exquisite, building heat with every stroke. But the restraint is cracking, and I can feel him fighting himself with every thrust.
"Harder. I'm not going to break."
"Don't want to hurt?—"
"You're not. You won't." I rake my nails down his back deliberately, hard enough to leave marks. "Stop holding back and fuck me properly."
The blunt words snap what's left of his restraint. He growls—an actual growl—and changes the angle, hitching my leg higher. His hand grips my hip hard enough to bruise, holding me in place while he drives deeper, harder. The bed frame hits the wall with each thrust. Past quiet. Past careful. Just raw need and friction and the wet sound of our bodies coming together.
But between the rough edges, there are moments of unexpected tenderness. His thumb stroking my cheekbone. His mouth finding mine for kisses that are more about connection than heat. The way he watches my face, making sure I'm with him, making sure this is good.
"Touch yourself. Want to feel you come around my cock. Want to know this is good for you."
I slide my hand between us, fingers finding my clit, slick and swollen. I work it in rhythm with his thrusts, the dual stimulation making my thighs shake. "It's better than good. You're better than good."
