When my phone rings, I dodge around the corner of the street and hit the road leading to my apartment.
The ringing continues. Just answer the phone and let him tell you it was a mistake. You’ll survive.
I drag my phone out of my pocket and swipe the screen. “Hello?”
“Hey, are you okay?” Jake’s deep voice sends a shiver along my spine. I fight the urge to close my eyes and revel in the feeling.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“You sound out of breath.” He clears his throat and my betraying nipples tent against my shirt. I should’ve taken time to put on my bra rather than stuffing it in my purse. “Are you walking home?”
“Yes, I needed to get ready for work.”
“Stay where you are. I’ll come get you and drive you home.” His voice sounds uneven as if he’s throwing on clothes and grabbing his shoes. “You should’ve woken me up.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, I’m right outside my apartment. I’ll be there before you can even get to me.” The lie slips off my tongue. I’m still two blocks away, but the sentiment remains the same. I’ll get there before he can get to his vehicle and pick me up. And the last thing I want is to see him again.
Even though a small piece of me wishes he’d say that what I saw wasn’t the entire story. Or that now that he’s been with me, he’s going to tell Amanda he’s seeing someone, and won’t meet up with her. And we’ll live happily ever after together. But I’m not stupid.
“It wouldn’t have bothered me.”
“I’m fine walking home.” My feet slap on the sidewalk as I pass by Mira’s house. If she looks out her window, there’s no way she’s not going to know where I’m coming from. I lower my head, letting a strand of hair cover my face.
“I see.” His response is clipped. “So, I guess this is the point where I say thanks for the good time and blow you off.”
I stumble on the tip of my shoe and lurch forward. My purse swings outward, knocking me more off balance as I peddle backward to right myself. I wasn’t ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. The pressure in my chest feels like a medicine ball is sitting on it.
After the biggest guy in school tossed it to me and knocked me to the gym floor.
“Right.” I swallow hard over the lump in my throat. “Thanks for the good time.”
“Yeah, have a good life.” The phone snaps off in my ear.
As I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, I close my eyes. Fuck. That hurt. I rub my heart. This fucking hurts.
What was I thinking? The pain rushing through me is tenfold as bad as it was four years ago. That was a little girl’s heart being stomped on. This is a woman’s heart being annihilated.
I thought I was prepared. I thought I understood that last night couldn’t be anything. But I was lying to myself. The silly girl inside of me. The one that believed in Prince Charming and other fairytales held out hope that it was real.
And it wasn’t.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Emily
When I walk into work, Dale is already there with his feet propped up on the table. He glances up from his relaxed position, peering at me from under his cap and frowns. “Look what the cat drug in.”
“Shut it.” I stride to the coffee pot and pour a steaming mug full of dark roast. I don’t bother adding any creams or sugars despite my preference for medium roast and sweeter flavors.
But today calls for the big guns. I groan and lift the mug to my lips, blowing on the contents.
“Jake keep you up all night?”
Holy fuck. I cough as the coffee sloshes over the rim and splatters onto the floor.
“Shit,” I growl, deposit the cup on the counter, and grab a handful of napkins. Those tri-folded brown ones that are useless at picking up spills but that’s what we’re supplied at the ambulance station.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear that he was that bad at it.”
