“Fine.” I straighten my spine. “Get it over with.” Let him say his peace, break my heart, and go about living a miserable life alone.
Except, I’m picking up the baby tomorrow.
For thirty days. Fuck. My chest aches. I keep making one stupid decision after another.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Jake
What in the fuck is wrong with you? She said she wanted to have sex with you, and you said no. What man in his right mind would turn down that opportunity?
This one. I want something so much more than a quick fuck and to go back to this hot and cold routine.
“I’d love to say I’m only going to say this once.” I cup her face, inhaling her jasmine and vanilla scent. It calms me down along with the wary expression on her face. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t look like the world was about to end. “But that’s a lie. If you run, I’ll hunt you down and tell you again. I’m tired of this back-and-forth game we’re playing.”
She bites her lips together but doesn’t make a move to throw my hands off and shove me out the door. There’s one point in my favor.
“I’ve missed you every day for over four years. When I stayed with Kaleb that Christmas break, I realized I had feelings for you. That I’d had feelings for you for some time.”
“You told me to leave my own kitchen.” Her eyes flash with anger.
“Because if I didn’t, I’d have had those impossibly tiny shorts ripped off you and your face smashed into your mom’s kitchen island as I grabbed your sweet ass and feasted on your tight little holes until you screamed with never-ending pleasure.” Her nostrils flare as heat fills her eyes. There’s pointnumber two. This woman is worth laying it all on the line for. “And Spencer was on his way upstairs.”
“I….” She shakes her head. “That can’t be true. You told me to leave, like you were embarrassed to be seen with me.” A flash of pain crosses her face. “And I listened to your conversation from the stairs.”
My chest aches knowing that I put that expression there. “I don’t remember what I said, but whatever it was, it was to get Spencer to stop following you around like he was a heat seeking missile and you were his target. And your brother would’ve lost his shit if I’d chosen to spend the weekend hanging out with you instead of him.”
“You said I was plain, boring, and a child. That I was going around with my ass hanging out like that’s all it takes to get a guy’s attention.” Her bottom lip quivers. “You said I was pathetic.”
“Baby, that’s never been true.” Jesus, I was a fucking asshole. Bile churns in my gut. How will I ever be able to make this up to her? No wonder she hated my guts.
I stroke her cheekbones with shaking thumbs and inhale. Somehow, I’ll make this right. “I wanted Spencer to stop seeing you as a potential hook up, and I needed time to figure out what I was going to do about Kaleb. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about us being together.”
She places her hand on my chest. “I–”
“Let me finish.”
“Okay.” Her eyes are solemn, but some of the wariness has eased from them.
“I was also afraid if I told you how I felt, you might agree, but it would end as soon as I went back to college. That you’d forget about me. Or even worse, that you’d cheat on me like Amanda did.”
Her eyes flash with renewed anger as she shoves my chest with both hands, knocking me backward. “So, you hooked up with her instead? That’s a bunch of bullshit. You didn’t want me to turn into her, but you went and screwed her? I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”
“You’re the one that chose Spencer after barely knowing him for a few hours.” I bite out the words as my hands ball into fists.
In the haze of my mounting frustration, her words swirl in my head. Hooked up with her? Who? Amanda? What’s she even talking about?
“Whoa….” She slaps her hands on her hips. “Let me get this straight. You spouted mean shit about me, hooked up with Amanda–”
“I didn’t see Amanda that night, and I haven’t been with her since we broke up back in high school.”
She ignores my statement and continues like I didn’t interrupt her. “And then had the nerve to get fucking pissed off because Spencer took me out to eat? I was heartbroken over you choosing Amanda, and he felt sorry for me. And now, you’re going to get pissed off again?”
My head aches from tension as I jerk my hand through my hair. I should be begging for her forgiveness, yet my mouth keeps running. “Yes, you chose Spencer over me, so I have the right to be angry.”
If she hadn’t taken off with Spencer, I might’ve felt vindication over her being heartbroken. But she chose him.
“No, dumbass. I did not. I was hurt, angry, and wanted to punch you in the face. Yes, I kissed him, but that was it. I wanted to throw it in your face that someone found me attractive, but we didn’t hook up.” She waves her hand in the air dismissively as if she’s done with me. “It’s not like it made any difference to you.”
