“How long?” I ask quietly.
He doesn’t answer.
“How long have you been doing this?” I press. “How long have you been starving yourself?”
“Centuries.” The word comes out tired. “Since I was old enough to understand what I was. What I would become if I allowed myself to slip.”
Centuries.
He’s been fighting this battle forcenturies.
Alone.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, starting to push himself to his feet. “This changes nothing. I will continue as I always have, and you will?—”
I grab his arm again. Pull him back down.
“It matters.” My voice is fierce in a way that surprises even me. “Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter, because that’s bullshit and we both know it.”
He stares at me.
“We’re bound to each other now. Whatever you intended when you wove yourself into that ritual, we’re connected. That means what happens to you affects me. Affects the pack.” I hold his gaze, refusing to look away. “You don’t have to be completely isolated. And youdon’thave to do this alone.”
That careful mask cracks a little more, and for just a moment, I see the man underneath. Not the ancient dragon, or the powerful professor, or the mysterious Council operative.
Just a man who has been alone for a very, very long time.
His hand comes up. Slowly, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed. His fingers brush against my hair, tucking a loose strand behind my ear. His touch is impossibly gentle.
“You have no idea how much I wish that were true,” he whispers.
He pulls away and then he’s gone.
There one minute, not the next.
The usual bullshit where he keeps as much distance between us as possible, except this time, I understand why.
He’s not protecting himself.
He’spunishinghimself.
For existing.
Chapter
Fifteen
MICAH
“Istill don’t understand whyI’mthe one being punished.”
I set down yet another cardboard box labeled “CRYSTALS (DO NOT DROP)” in increasingly aggressive handwriting. My lower back is about to call OSHA.
Sadie’s practice room is on the fourth floor of Briar Hall, because the good rooms all belong to seniors. And of course, the elevator’s been broken since before I enrolled.
“Rowan is the one who made the call,” I continue, straightening up and wiping sweat from my forehead.
Sadie doesn’t look up from where she’s arranging jars on a shelf that’s been painted with some kind of crackle glaze to make it look ancient, but I’m pretty sure it’s just from IKEA. The whole room has that slightly-off quality of spaces that have been magically expanded. The walls don’t quite meet at right angles. It makes my wolf twitchy.
