“He’s just scared she’s gonna hex his junk,” Micah says, flopping back down on a pillow he dragged off the couch and onto the floor.
I settle in too, scooting closer to Regina to enjoy the show. “This’ll be good,” I tell her.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” she mumbles halfheartedly, but her attention is fixed on Rowan as the phone rings.
Sadie picks up after a few rings and she already sounds annoyed. “What?”
Rowan freezes up for a minute before he puts on the worst British accent I’ve ever heard. “Hello, this is… Bertram… from Hot Topic. Do you have a moment to take a survey?”
Bertram?
That’s it. A deep belly laugh is already welling up in my throat, but Regina lunges to clamp both hands around my mouth, even though she’s shaking from trying not to dissolve into giggles herself.
Micah is on the floor, beating the carpet with his fist and even Killian seems like he’s struggling.
Rowan facepalms as Sadie’s silence stretches.
Just when I think she’s about to tell him to fuck off, she finally answers, “Yeah, sure, whatever. Just make it quick.”
Rowan blinks like he can’t believe his luck. Or his lack thereof.
Regina is in my lap now, so I’m enjoying the show even more. I wrap my arms around her, feeling the tremors of her barely stifled laughter.
“Splendid!” Rowan begins, fully committing to his new identity as Bertram. “Uhh, in the last year, how many black lipsticks would you say you’ve purchased for yourself or others?”
Micah is making a strangled wheezing sound from the floor, and he’s as red as Killian’s plaid shirt.
“Uh… I dunno, maybe six?” Sadie offers.
“Excellent. And how would you rate your satisfaction with your current number of facial piercings?”
A long pause. “I mean, I have been thinking about getting a Monroe, but?—”
I’ve been trying so hard not to laugh I’m lightheaded, but Micah is the one who finally breaks. The laugh he lets out sounds like someone wringing out a goose.
“Micah?” Sadie’s voice gets shrill through the speaker. “Wait, who is this? Did my dumbass brother put you up to this?”
“Sorry, Sadie,” Rowan groans.
“Hi, Sadie,” I say, waving before I remember she can’t see me.
“Next time I see you dorks, it’s on sight,” she says in a chilling tone. “I hope you like having your testicles hexed into snowballs.”
“Our mate’s a badass siphon. We’re not afraid of you,” Micah says, even though said badass mate looks a littleafraid herself as she flashes him a death glare.
“Wait, Regina is there?” Sadie huffs.
“Sorry,” Regina says sheepishly. “We’re playing truth or dare and it kind of got out of hand.”
Sadie’s sigh crackles the speaker, but now she sounds like she thinks it’s at least a little bit funny. “I’ll let it slide this time, but keep your himbos in line or I’m turning someone into a frog.”
“Frog. Got it,” Regina says, struggling to keep a straight face.
Sadie hangs up and the room falls silent for a few seconds before we all start laughing. I’m not even sure who cracked first, but it feels like old times except better, because now, there’s Regina.
The game continues. Regina picks truth when the bottle lands on her and admits that she once accidentally set her sister’s hair on fire during an argument. Not even with magic, which is somehow more impressive.
Killian picks dare and ends up having to do twenty push-ups while Micah sits on his back. It wouldn’t have been a punishment if it was Regina.
