I shake my head, guilt bubbling in my stomach. "No, I didn't know. Had I known – "
"You still would have left," she says somberly. "And now you're back, sitting in a cell, waiting for judgment. Was it worth it?"
Memories of baking with Finn and going on adventures with Atlas and Nyx pop into my head. Showing Shaye water foxes in Bava. Even the mundane routine of going to Finn's apothecary shop are some of the best memories.
"Yes," I say softly, tears welling in my eyes knowing I might never see any of them again. "It was worth defying her." Feeling a little rebellious, I add, "You should try it, Thalia."
"There is no victory in going against her." My sister seethes, hissing each word in hushed tones.
"I had victory."
"You're in a cell."
"But I still tasted freedom," I clamp my hands on either side of her arms and rattle her. "I experienced love, friendship, and peace. I went on adventures, Thalia. Remember how we used to talk about traveling around the Six Kingdoms when we were old enough? How many has Mother permitted you to see?"
Thalia's face drops. "You know I've never left Hydran shores."
"Exactly! What is she so afraid of?" I growl. "Why does she not want us to experience other cultures, learn the ways of our allies?" I inch closer and whisper, "She does not love us, Thalia."
As if it's been ground into her all her life, she says, "Mother loves us – "
"No," I shake her, drawing her brainwashed gaze. "Not how a mother should love their children. She loves our magic. She loves the Talay name being solidified for generations to come. She loves our blind obedience and our submissive silence. She doesn't love us because we are her daughters."
She twists out of my grasp. "I think you've spent too much time away from our shores, Eris. Mother is hard on us and extreme in her methods, but she does care."
"When was the last time she hugged you?" My question throws her.
"Hugs do not equal affection," she stammers.
"Even so, a mother would express love for her children in some way, right?"
"We have everything we could ever need and want here. You're sounding like a spoiled brat." She hops to her feet and heads for the door.
"It's her job as a mother to provide for her children. We shouldn't be laden with guilt for existing. She shouldn't remind us of everything she's done for us to quiet or negate the harm she's caused. So, I ask you again." I stand, squaring my shoulders to her. "When is the last time she hugged you? Said one kind word to you? Shared a meal with you with no strings attached?" I take a step toward her. I have to save her. I at least have to try. "Thalia, she threatened you to heal the bruises her soldiers inflicted. Would a mother who truly loves you act this way?"
Thalia's mouth flies open, examples and excuses at the ready, but suddenly her eyes widen. As if realization is just now consuming her as it did me years ago. Her lips curl into a pained grimace. She furrows her brow. "She has her reasons for everything she does."
"Would you care to explain her reasoning for aligning herself with Bastian?"
She stills.
"Would you care to explain what her reasoning was for having a hand in attacking another kingdom?" I press, determined to tear the rose-tinted glasses from her face. "The Tronovians will not take her betrayal lightly."
"You think they will come for you?" she asks softly.
"Maybe," I answer honestly. "Will they come for Mother? You can count on it."
Thalia shakes her head somberly. "That would be most unwise." She flicks her gaze up to meet mine. "Mother is expecting them to come."
My stomach flips. My mother commands the storms. She can sink ships before they reach Hydran shores. She delights in it. If the Tronovians send a fleet, it will certainly be destroyed. "She wouldn't."
"To protect Hyrdra – "
"You mean to protect herself," I interrupt, a viciousness in my tone.
Thalia reaches out and grabs me by the shoulders. "Don't you get it, Eris? SheisHydra. She won't permit either to fall."
"There's already a war brewing in the east and she's ready to start one here? The demons will overrun us all. Hydra won't be safe because we are in the middle of the sea."
