Once she's finished her treat and I've secured myself in the saddle, she spears off into the twilight sky, soaring, flipping, twirling, giving me the rush I so desperately crave. I grip the reins tightly and embrace the frigid sting of the wind. She levels off, gliding over the slumbering city.
I straighten in the leather saddle, close my eyes and spread my arms wide. The wind whips past me. My hair dances behind me. And for the first time in weeks, I feel free.
Inhaling deeply, I finally accept the fact I'm no longer in control.
In the coming days, there's no guarantee any of the other leaders will join the fight against Bastian – against Drogon. There's no telling if they'll even believe us – believe me – but we have to try. If we don't, we won't be able to win the war.
I hear the whispers of those who work in Stelara. The lamentations if I'm captured by Bastian, I'll be the reason the Demon King is released from his prison.
But what do they expect me to do?
I won't shrink, I won't hide, and I certainly won't allow others to shield me from the darkness because I'm afraid.
What kind of Basilius – what kind of Sol – would I be if I permitted myself to dim my light when I've just now discovered it?
I might be fearful of the future, but I'm no longer alone. Whatever we face, we face together.
The sun crests over the snowcapped mountains. Seraxes darts in the light's direction, both of us feeling the comfort and warmth of the sun's rays despite the chill in the air. Beneath my riding leathers, my skin prickles and goosebumps streak across my entire body. Not from the cold, but from the calm before the impending storm. I know now I can feel my father's presence; our connection runs deep in our blood – our magic anchoring us to one another – though we dwell in separate realms. He's here with me. He'll always be here with me.
Seraxes snorts, earning my undivided attention. I glance downward and detect movement in Fendruil. I squint to decipher which dragon is moving to launch. I highly doubt Thrane is up this early – he's been spending a lot of late night's pouring over correspondence with other kingdoms, shouldering the weight of his newly acquired crown. The other Basilius riders typically don't make their way out here until after lunch so it can only be one person: my mother.
Corvex darts upward at alarming speed. He and my mother in battle would certainly be a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps, I should have let her know where I was going. Even though I now have myOrhelletattoos, I'm still new to riding and shouldn't be out alone.
I brace myself for chastisement when Corvex's enormous body slides up next to us. Seraxes snaps her neck toward her older brother, baring her teeth, and narrowing her eyes. I'm not entirely sure if she didn't like him approaching us quickly or the fact he got too close to me angered her, but neither growls nor makes a move to abandon course. Trepidation slides into my chest as I turn to meet my mother's grey gaze. But her face isn't marred with angry frown lines nor is she glaring at me with disapproval; she's smiling.
"Early morning ride?" She wiggles her eyebrows.
"I just needed some space," I admit, patting Seraxes' scales, distracting her from her brother. "Needed some fresh air to clear my head."
"It would appear we have that in common." She juts her chin toward the mountains. "What are we waiting for?"
"You're not here to yell at me?"
"Yell at you for what?" She tilts her head to the side.
"Coming out here alone? Riders should travel in pairs."
"And here I am." She smiles. "Do you know why we travel in pairs?"
"If one of us should be unseated, the other would catch them."
"Yes," she nods, "but we also travel in pairs because we are much stronger together than we are solo. Frost Dragons thrive on companionship, partnership. So do we."
Her words pierce my chest. My entire life I was trained to be able to be alone. Sure, I was set to marry Bastian and be his queen, but I wouldn't be permitted to join him when he travelled or be privy to his council meetings. I'd be a polished trophy he displayed on a mantle – parading his submissive wife before all those he met with. I was already living a life of solitude, but once I was married, there'd be no true end to my loneliness. We'd have separate rooms, separate staffs, separate schedules. Our time together would rarely be alone, just as it was while we were betrothed.
I was used to being alone, depending on myself.
That's not my life anymore, I remind myself.
I have a family. I have friends. I have Seraxes.
Sometimes I don't believe I deserve them. I didn't earn their love, didn't earn their loyalty. They gave their friendship freely and opened their hearts to me willingly. They didn't expect anything in return. At one time they didn't expect me to reciprocate.
It's time I allow myself to receive everything they offer without deeming myself unworthy.
I am worthy of love.
I am deserving of friendship.
