Soft lips descend upon me, worshiping my cheek, then my jaw, my chin, my nose and finally my mouth. They are demanding and confident, and I can’t find it in me to resist them, so I open and let Tommy in. His tongue swipes all over my mouth, mapping and claiming as if he’s doing it for the first time. As if he hasn’t already hijacked my mind and body with his addictive taste.
The moan I let out surprises even me. I’ve never made such sounds. Sex is… well, not exactly new to me, even if it’s been years, but none of my ‘partners’ ever made me feel on fire the way Tommy does.
It’s more proof he’s the one. My person, my reason to look forward to tomorrow.
“I can’t get enough of kissing you, Niko. You are like a drug,” he says, reverence lurking in his voice.
My heart soars. There is nothing better than knowing the person you want wants you back just as fiercely. That they too cannot and won’t fight the pull between you. It fills my chest with this fluttery warm feeling and my stomach with jittery butterflies.
“Look who’s talking. You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted, Tommy.”
He preens, a proud smile stretching his lips as he straightens up and looks down at me. The light from the window envelops him like a full-body halo, bumping up his angelic look.
“Do you think you’d be up for sticking that gorgeous monster cock in me?” he asks innocently, batting his long eyelashes at me.
I gawk at him, his filthy words echoing inside my mind. “Excuse me?”
“I’d like for you”—he jabs a finger at my chest, then at himself—“to tap this piece of ass and pop my virgin cherry, if that’s okay with you.”
My jaw goes slack. This isn’t making it any better. “You want me to—”
“Rail me like I am your personal bitch. Yes, Nikolas, I would like to have sex with you.” He shoves his hand under himself and gropes my balls as if they belong to him. “Are you still half-asleep?”
Even if I was, I’m fully awake now. And so is my dick, completely onboard with this even if my head is still trying to catch up to what he just said. Shutting my eyes, I take a deep breath and let air fill my lungs. Fuck, I want this so much I feel like I’m gonna explode. But what if… what if he finds out the truth and laughs at me? I’d be so embarrassed I’d die.
“I… I think we should slow down. It’s your first time and I might be too big for you.”
Tommy blinks at me. A few awkward seconds pass as my heart rate picks up. Then he grins. “Mm, why yes, I noticed your pro max size, Niko.” He licks his lips, poking out that pink tongue which was owning my mouth just minutes ago. “It makes me want you even more. I bet it would feel amazing to be stretched and fucked by your giant cock.”
A surge of burning pleasure barrels through me.Gods almighty.My head is a mess, my mind is spinning. I bet he’d feel incredible, all hot and tight around me and moaningmy name as I claim him in the most intimate way. Fuck…fuck. What do I do?
Tommy shrugs when my internal discourse causes my speechlessness to drag on. “C’mon, Niko. Or…” His sultry smile wavers, replaced by doubt that has no place here. “Oh my god! Do you not like me? Did I misunderstand? Was this just a way to take the edge off ‘coz of the crazy days we’ve had?”
I clasp his hands and bring them to my lips. “No! I want you, Tommy, you’ve got no idea how much. I’m just…”
He exhales in relief and leans forward, kissing my forehead. “You just…?”
God, this is so embarrassing. If it was anyone but Tommy, I’d never confess, but with him… I can’t lie, I don’t want to, even if he ends up laughing at me for the silly holdup. He deserves only the truth.
“I’ve…” Here goes nothing. “I’ve not been with anyone this way in years. I’m worried I might be out of practice or mess up or, I dunno, that I might not be good enough.”
He slowly pulls back, until he’s sitting in my lap and looking down at me again. His expression is hard to read, and the gloom really doesn’t help either. His hand, which is still enveloped in mine, trembles slightly as he rocks back and forth, thinking.
“You haven’t had sex with anyone in years?” he whispers like it’s a secret.
Fuck, I want the ground to swallow me. It sounds kind of ridiculous when said out loud. Yes, I was technically Father Gabriel for the last decade, but it’s not like I didn’t have opportunities for hookups. I just never felt like sharing my bed with somebody for a night was worth the risk. Until Tommy, that is.
I open my mouth to reply, but a lump forms and prevents me from speaking. I clear my throat. “Yes. Just my hand.” But that doesn’t really count, does it?
He goes completely still. The air gets sucked out of the room as I wait for his response. Fear and anticipation mix within me, turning everything upside down. Was confessing a mistake? But I don’t want to lie to him, even if it’s a harmless lie that’s really just meant to save me some embarrassment.
“So, you are saying that I will be yourfirstin, like,forever?”
I nod, cold sweat peppering my forehead and neck. “Yes. I guess you could say that.”
“Oh. My. God.” His face lights up with the most gorgeous and brilliant smile I’ve seen yet. “This is the fucking best! I broke your celibacy! I!Shit. I’m just that irresistible, aren’t I? I knew we were meant for each other since the moment we met!”
I am speechless, my heart pumping overtime as his words soak into my skin. He’s not laughing or making fun of me or joking about me avoiding hookups. He’s actually happy, and more than that, he radiates like the sun on a hot summer day.
