“Top drawer,” he grunted, grinding against Aiden’s dick.
Aiden retrieved the lube, popping the cap open. The spark of disdain was back in his gaze and so was the need to hurt, to dominate, to make Darren submit. And Darren, he could stop it. He could overpower Aiden and fuck him instead, make him forget everything that way. But he wasn’t going to do that, because it wasn’t what either of them needed. Perhaps his was a selfish reason, born from the fact that his heart just couldn’t disassociate itself and pretend it could get a taste of Aiden Kesley and be okay after it. Such a thing was uncalled for, it made no sense, but it was the ugly truth all the same.
Darren grabbed the lube from Aiden’s hand, his stomach squeezing in anticipation. He slicked two of his fingers and Aiden’s dick, then leaned forward and inserted the fingers in his ass. He didn’t get to stretch himself for too long before Aiden smashed their mouths together and pushed inside him.
They both groaned, deepening the kiss. At first, Aiden’s movements were stiff, Darren doing most of the work, but soon that changed as he took command of the pace, fucking Darren with abandon.
“Fuck, Kesley,” Darren whimpered, breaking the kiss.
Aiden’s mouth latched onto his jaw immediately, nipping and licking and bruising. Looping his arms around Aiden’s neck, Darren tensed his ass. It heightened the pleasure and ripped yet more moans out of them both, though Darren couldn’t even discern which ones were his and which ones were Aiden’s anymore.
Aiden’s hands clasped Darren’s waist, his thrusts turning hard and deep. It was like something in him snapped—whether because of Darren’s teasing or because of how good it had to feel for Aiden too—and Darren could do little to fight it, finding himself now truly at the mercy of the man who still wanted to kill him. Every other glide had Aiden’s dick somehow hitting Darren’s prostate, and he was losing his mind from the onslaught of rough pleasure.
“Kesle—”
“Shut up,” Aiden growled. He dug his fingers into Darren’s sides and then one of his hands wrapped around Darren’s neck.
Suddenly, Darren found himself under Aiden, flipped over to his stomach as Aiden rammed into him from behind. Whatever button he’d pressed seemed to have touched the darkest part of Aiden, the one that was pure violence out of control. It wanted not just to punish Darren, but to destroy him. And that was… fine. Darren welcomed it, embraced it, because he knew it too, its rage familiar and heartbreaking and so very befitting the animal-like lust that had possessed them both.
It reduced Darren to nothing but mindless need, but he found solace in that too, because Aiden was the same, here with him as he felt something other than utterly alone for the first time since the night his life as Ren Valrais had ended.
Chapter 40
Aiden woke up tothe sound of a running shower. The door to the bathroom was left ajar and steam seeped into the room, disappearing into the ventilation outlet in the ceiling. He must’ve fallen asleep after he’d fucked Darren. Thanks to the aftereffect of exertion and multiple orgasms, his mind was strangely placid as if his thoughts were tucked away in some corner just out of reach. For the first time in forever,okaywas how he felt, at least physically.
The sound of water drumming against glass stopped just as Aiden was about to slip out of Darren’s bed. A heartbeat later, Darren came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his waist. Bruises from Aiden’s hands were visible on both his sides.
Seeing Darren naked brought back Aiden’s demons, unleashed them out of their fickle cage. He’d made a mistake. Sleeping with Darren was not supposed to happen. He’d come here to appease the void in him, to fill it up withthe satisfaction of hurting the man who’d hurt him the most.
Aiden shuddered as the phantom touch of Darren’s fingers caressed his jaw. As it reminded him of that scorching hot desire, of the shameless need and want that lived in him. He’d thought he could force them down, dominate them, just like he could control his anger, but he’d been wrong. They were too much, too overwhelming, and they’d gone out of control last night, making it impossible to stop before he’d had Darren writhing and whimpering under him.
Taking a deep breath, Aiden sat up. “Howe. Why didn’t you wake me up?” he grated, needles racing across his skin.
He needed to leave so he could forget about this. So he could rationalize it, why he’d given into the lust like this and fucked Darren Howe of all people. Why he’d allowed himself to mix the need to hurt and inflict pain with that to feel pleasure. He’d been fighting this for so long, halting it, forcing it down, yet last night he’d lost the battle. He’d slipped when all he’d wanted to do was punish Darren, but instead he’d sent himself plunging into an ocean of desire he couldn’t escape.
Why?
The answer was simple, when he allowed himself a moment to think about it. Darren Howe embodied all the things Aiden was warring with on the inside—the anger, the hurt, the despair, the need and the craving—a combination he hadn’t been able to resist because it was familiar in this new life of unknowns. No matter how wrong, no matter how fucked up, he’d been powerless against that bittersweet pull he’d never thought he would feel after Claudia.
“I didn’t wake you up because you haven’t slept properly in who knows how many days,” Darren said, his voice hoarse and still a little raw. It betrayed more than the strain Aiden had put on him last night, though he didn’t venture to guess what, and instead just watched Darren pick up a spare towel from a drawer. “Go have a shower, then eat something.”
Darren tossed the towel to Aiden, who considered protesting the one-sided decision to let him sleep in. He gave up arguing. Hehadneeded the rest, even if he should’ve never come here. And he needed to be alone now, so the quicker he got this over with, the quicker he could forget about it.
“How close are we to the Moon?” Aiden said, not voicing any of his thoughts as he crawled out of the bed. Darren Howe was still the man he wanted to kill, still the man that had destroyed his life, and not someone he should care about even if they were technically on the same side now.
Darren’s eyes didn’t linger on Aiden’s nakedness, sparing him only a glance. “About two hours out.” He held Aiden’s gaze and opened his mouth as if to say more, but then shook his head. “I’ll be in the mess hall.”
Thankful Darren had chosen not to make this awkward, Aiden went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, enjoying the extra space the Valrais heir’s quarters offered because he knew he wouldn’t be coming here again.
Darren, Bea and Nyle were sitting at the dining table when Aiden made it to the mess hall, eating what looked to bemilitary-grade rations. Not the best and definitely nothing like real food, but still better quality than the goo paste served in prisons. They were chatting too, Nyle draped over one of the two cushiony couches with a mug in hand, Darren lounging in the armchair across from him, and Bea scowling at her handheld gaming console from the second sofa.
Their banter ceased as Aiden started the coffee dispenser by the sink and poured himself a cup. He was still wearing the frilly top and snug pants Nan had given him, but he doubted that was the reason for their intense, and frankly, a little disturbing stares. His visit to Darren’s quarters seemed a more plausible explanation, at least until he took a sip from his coffee and their inquisitive stares turned positively bemused. Nyle even giggled.
“This tastes foul,” Aiden complained, then proceeded to take another sip as he leaned against the sleek gray cupboards lining the wall.
“It’s priority one on the shopping list,” Nyle said, waving his tablet. “One point above actual food and the engineer.”
Bea snorted. “I thought priority onewasthe food?”
