“Reign Lennox,” the minister supplied with a smile, looking just as amused as the mayor. “Oh, and Mr. Araya, the Cardinal was asking after you. He’ll be in his office after dinner.”
Something snapped in Noah. Pushed him,finally, off that edge he had been standing on ever since the night he’d confessed his wish to Reign. It stabbed his heart from the inside out, ripped his guts and tore his flesh until there was nothing left of him. The ringing in his ears drowned out the rest of what the two men said, and he just stared atthem as they talked, and then kept staring even after they left, his senses no longer responding to the world around him. He became a husk, empty except for the sensation of pain rippling through him from his branded thigh where the sigil pulsated, itched and burned and forced him to the floor.
Noah’s head hit the edge of the sink on the way down. A momentary pulse of pain blasted inward from the point of impact, but it didn’t last just like the one when his head met the marble tiles. The only thing he was still capable of feeling was that all-consuming loss as it finally came full circle.
This was it for him, for his sanity. Lying alone on the cold floor of a restroom at the Church Headquarters was where he lost it, where everything stopped mattering, where he accepted the betrayal from the only man he’d ever loved.
Noah blinked slowly, his awareness slipping. Then he laughed.Cackled. It came out all wrong, the sound more like a howl of a raging beast than a noise the human throat could make. Fitting… He didn’t feel human anymore, he didn’t feel anything. And—he blinked again, trying to chase away the black dots from his vision, then closed his eyes—he had known it from the start, from that very moment he and Reign had met, this one truth he had refused to acknowledge until the end.
If Noah couldn’t have Reign in his life, then that life was simply not worth living.
41
Noah must’ve drifted off, because when he came to from his body shaking with urgency, a worried janitor was hovering above him and clasping his arm.
“Sir, are you okay?” the young man asked, his green eyes full of concern. “You were lying on the floor. Should I call an ambulance?”
Noah blanked for a few moments as he glared up at the man, trying to comprehend where he was and what had happened. He felt… fine, save for his extremely dry throat, throbbing head, and the cramp in his left arm.
“I…” he croaked, then cleared his throat, accepting the glass of water he was handed. He downed it in one go, the cold liquid like shards of ice as it traveled down to his stomach. “I’m fine. Sorry. Everything is okay. I… think I had too much to drink and must have passed out,” he assured the man, offering a weak smile, then studied the way the crystal glass reflected the light from the chandelier above their heads.
“S-should I call for someone?”
Noah could see the tension in the man’s young features. “No need.” Bracing his arms on the floor, he pushedhimself up into a sitting position, using the vanity unit to support his back. “What time is it?”
“Just past 9 p.m., sir. Dinner finished half an hour ago and the guests have retreated to the game room.”
Noah ran his fingers over his thigh, his blood thrumming. The pulsating of the sigil… was normal as well, just the same dull twinge as always.But he wasn’t.
“Tell me”—he squinted at the man’s badge—“Adam, is Cardinal Lourenco there as well?”
Adam shook his head. “He’s in his office, sir… Should I inform his assistant you are looking for him?”
“No.” Noah coerced his body to do as he wanted and stood up. The restroom spun around him in a blur of gold and red, but he held his ground. “Thank you again. This is quite embarrassing. I will be okay on my own now.”
Adam hesitated, worrying his lips, but nodded eventually, leaving just in time, just as that despairing rage returned to Noah and sprung him into action. It took him to his room first so he could grab the red scarf from the top of his suitcase and wrap it around his neck, then to the kitchens where he found what he needed. It all went by in a haze, like he was a witness to what his body was doing, a ghost hovering above it, but he didn’t care, didn’t try to stop what was about to unfold as he made his way to the top floor where the Cardinal had his office. The pretentiousness was nauseating here too, golds and reds and whites intertwining to create a headache-inducing combination that sparkled and shimmered and made Noah want to tear it all down. To destroy it.
And he would. Soon. But first, he had other things to take care of.
Noah stood in front of the Cardinal’s door, clasping the ornamented carving knife behind his back. He couldn’ttell anymore if he was still wheezing, or even breathing, whether he had his fingers around the handle or the blade. The wet, slick sensation as he tightened his hold suggested it was the sharp end.
Not that it mattered.
Noah knocked firmly on the door with his uninjured hand, waiting for the Cardinal’s response before he pushed it open. Gold was predominant here too, coating anything and everything from the two sofas, the coffee table, and the display cases, to the rugs and curtains and even the walls and the oak desk. A statue of an angel leered from one corner, small variations of it decorating the shelves behind the Cardinal and proving without a doubt that this was the office of an agent of God.
“Noah, there you are! I hope everything is okay? You left in a rush and never came back,” the Cardinal said, waving Noah over to the chair in front of the desk. He swiveled in his own and took a glass out from a cabinet behind him, placing it next to the one that was already on the desk.
“Everything is okay, Your Holiness. Just… the food didn’t agree with me.” Noah sat down, his gaze shifting to the back of the Cardinal’s monitor when the man glanced at it and smiled.
“How unfortunate. I pray you feel better tomorrow and can join us for breakfast.”
“Thank you.”
Smiling at something on the screen again, the Cardinal laced his fingers together. “We have quite a few things to discuss, so we won’t go over everything, but I thought I could tell you a bit about your new duties.”
Noah made himself comfortable in the chair and leaned forward. “Before that… I heard I missed some kind of announcement Teresa made? I tried looking forher so I could ask, but I couldn’t find her. Do you know where she is?”
The Cardinal’s eyes darted to the monitor again, causing irritation to flare within Noah. He pushed it down, not quite in need of it just yet.
