I cry until my eyelids grow heavy, until Lizzy gently eases us back into the pillow. Until I hear the steady beat of her heart next to my ear, and I drift away, falling into the black void.
“Amelia. Amelia, wake up. Come on. Open your eyes.” My brother’s deep, dark voice reaches my ear, and I groan as I turn over. Pain shoots through my head and chest, and I open my eyes with a groan. The ceiling and light are spinning, and mystomach finds it anything but funny, clenching tightly, making me gag. The dizziness is intense, and I barely manage to free myself from my blanket and rush out of bed. But the bathroom is too far away, and my brother, watching me with furrowed brows, stands in my way.
“I need to…” I don’t get any further, as what little is in my stomach decides to come back up. My brother takes a startled step back, grimacing in disgust as I throw up on the floor in front of him.
“Oh damn, Amelia, did it have to be now?” he says, looking down at me in disgust as I catch my breath and grab the bedpost, swaying.
“As if she can help it, you idiot. She had a serious car accident and a concussion, in case you forgot. So either behave or get out. She needs rest,” comes a sharp voice from the direction of the bathroom.
I breathe a sigh of relief. Lizzy is still here.
Right on cue, my best friend steps between me and my brother, who glares at her with a hateful look, as she puts an arm around my waist.
“Ah, the little rebel princess is here, too. My condolences on your loss. I couldn’t offer them in person at the funeral, since you were too deep in mourning. And as for my sister, it’s none of your damn business how I speak to her,” he replies coldly, and once again, a sharp, painful coldness spreads through me.
What did I expect from him? Nothing.
But the detached way he expresses his condolences, as if he doesn’t care, sends a shiver down my spine.
His calculating gaze fixes on me, and I know that with Lizzy here, he’ll behave somewhat and hold himself back.
“Alright, you can rest a little longer. In two hours, we have to appear before the king. So try to look at least somewhat presentable by then. I’ll come to get you.”
Lizzy opens her mouth, ready to stand up for me again, but I gently press her arm to stop her. She’d only make it worse.
She throws me a glare from the side and presses her lips tightly together.
“As you wish.” I nod at him, making the dizziness in my head worse.
“Make sure that mess is cleaned up from your floor. It’s disgusting.” With that, Henry turns and slams the door, making me flinch as the sharp noise sends a stabbing pain through my temples.
“Your brother is a first-class asshole.” Lizzy shakes her head, and when her gaze lands on me, anger flares in her eyes. “Why do you keep letting him treat you like this? I don’t understand.”
Still shaking her head, she helps me into the bathroom, carefully sidestepping the “mess.” I avoid her gaze, feeling the thick, nauseating weight of shame seep into every pore of my body.
I can’t tell her why I stay silent. Why it’s better to endure his humiliation and taunts.
“Because it wouldn’t make things any better,” I reply weakly, and Lizzy lets out a snort of frustration at my answer.
“If he were my brother, I’d gladly make his life hell every single day. Ask Phil… ask Nicolas… Shit—” she stumbles over her own words, and I finally look at her. There’s pain in her gaze, and I briefly squeeze her hand.
“Phil loved it; he enjoyed it when you made his life difficult,” I say softly, and she swallows, barely holding back her tears.
“I know.” She gently guides me toward the shower, helps me out of my sweaty shirt, and turns on the warm water.
“Go shower; I’ll take care of the ‘mess’ and get you something to wear.” She smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes as she takes my dirty clothes and leaves me alone.
With heavy limbs, I shuffle under the hot stream, washing the dirt, fear, and sweat off my body. Only the pain and grief cling to me like an oily film.
When I return to my room, Lizzy is already waiting with a pair of elegant black pants and a white blouse with ruffles along the button line.
“I figured you’d feel more like wearing pants than a dress. Elara will be here shortly to help with your makeup; I have to go. My parents are already waiting for me. Don’t let yourself be cornered, alright? And text me when you’re back from the lion’s den. I’ll try to find out why my father wants to see you.” She gives me a quick hug and kisses my cheek before leaving my room.
An hour later, I’m ready and have taken two of the painkillers the doctor gave me. Still, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. My head throbs lightly, but inside I’ve built a small wall again, so a cold emptiness settles within me.
From now on, I need to function. Hold it together.
In the mirror, a pale face with dark circles stares back at me, the makeup barely able to hide them. And I know Henry won’t be pleased.
