I swallow.
Now comes the tricky part because I still can’t tell him everything. Not until I’ve spoken to Damien.
“I’ve known for a while, yes, because Philipp was honest with me from the start. We knew we were supposed to marry, and he didn’t want to give me false hope. He wanted to give me the chance to, well, you know…” I pause, look up at Nicolas, and my cheeks flush as I see his cheeky grin.
“Well, I know WHAT? Give you the chance to have sex?” he teases, laughing, and I turn even redder, though that’s pretty ridiculous considering what we just did.
“Yes, damn it. He wanted me to have the chance to find my happiness too. Someone who loves me as a woman and can give me everything I deserve, because he couldn’t. I knew that if I fell in love, I’d never be able to show it publicly, but I wanted to help him, and he offered me the chance to leave Perlington House. But it was incredibly hard for him to tell me. You know the politics here. The laws are outdated, and when it comes to discrimination against gay people, Harlington might as well still be living in the Middle Ages.“ I snort briefly, because just thinking about it makes me boil inside. It’s so unfair and stupid.
Nicolas nods silently, encouraging me to continue. He plays with my curls as he does so, and my silly heart skips a beat because the gesture is so intimate.
“Why do you want to leave Perlington House?” The question freezes me, and I hold my breath.
Oh damn it.
Nicolas gives me such a sense of security that I forget all caution and just start talking. Inside, I scold myself for being so foolish.
Phil knew that Henry and I had difficulties but not the extent of my torment.
“You knew my parents. They were strict and dutiful. Nothing else mattered. From a young age, I was trained and raised to be the perfect woman, or at least they tried. But love, affection? None of that. And my brother… let’s just say he followed in my father’s footsteps and rules Perlington House with a hard hand. And that includes me. I’m just a woman.” I look up at him again, hoping he swallows this answer too. I flinch when he stares at me seriously and intensely. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear so gently that my skin tingles where he touches me.
“What?” I ask uncertainly, because he doesn’t say anything. A slight smile appears on his lips.
“Well, I’d say they didn’t quite succeed in making you the perfect daughter. She’s pretty cheeky, sassy, and rebellious.”
I burst out laughing because, honestly, he has a point. But when I look at him again, he’s frozen, looking at me as if struck by lightning. Puzzled, I sit up and tap him.
“Are you okay? Do I have something on my face?” I ask cautiously, looking down at myself. Nicolas still stares at me like I’m a vision. Then he blinks and clears his throat.
“Your laugh. Sorry, that laugh… it’s… I like it,” he says, and I open my eyes wide in surprise.
Has he never seen me laugh? Do I really laugh that little?
But when I think about it, I’m not sure. Maybe I really have never laughed in his presence. Let’s be honest, he has not exactly given me a reason to until now.
Bitterness rises in me, but then he surprises me again by grabbing me in a flash. Suddenly, I’m lying beneath him, blinking up at him in confusion.
“What…” I start, but he silences me with his index finger. The intensity of his gaze makes me forget everything.
“Amelia, Princess of Harlington, would you go out with me after our wedding?”
A small spark lights up in my stomach, and, despite feeling a little nervous about tomorrow, I give him a shy smile.
“Yes, Nicolas, Prince of Harlington, I would like that very much.”
Waking up beside Amelia the next morning feels unexpectedly calming, nothing like the intimidating experience I had always envisioned. On the contrary, after everything that happened yesterday, I know without a doubt that she belongs to me, body and soul.
The sex was absolutely mind-blowing. Just thinking about her body beneath mine has me struggling to keep it together, resisting the urge to run straight back to our part of the castle and bury myself in her all over again. But there’s no time for that now.
We’re getting married in three hours at Bellington Chapel, and I want to know if the security measures have been increased after yesterday’s incident. Because if not, my wife won’t set foot outside this castle. I will make sure of that.
Yes, there’s still a lot unresolved between us, but I want to get to know her. I want a chance for her, for me, for us.
Eric is already waiting for me in the drawing room, and so is Cedric. There’s no sign of Damien.
“You look damn pleased with yourself,” Cedric greets me, and Eric laughs as a wide grin spreads across my face.
“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.“
