No. Please. No.
My body, my soul screams in torment, it burns, it stings. A sharp pain explodes in my ribcage as another blow lands, and I feel my ribs crack. And I scream.
Oh God, please make him stop… please.
But no god hears me.
No one does.
My stomach aches terribly, nausea churns inside me, and every movement sends my whole body screaming in protest as I surface from the memory.
Gasping, I struggle for air and try to block out the pain that comes with every breath. But the pain in my heart and soul only digs deeper.
Henry made his position painfully clear two days ago, and yesterday, when we moved into the apartment, Nicolas didn’t leave any doubt about how things will be between us going forward. Still, there was that one moment, his body against mine. Feeling him that close was a shock. Everything inside me buzzed and hummed, and I wanted to lean into him. I wanted him to touch me.
I’m a mess of tangled emotions, an endless rollercoaster without an emergency brake. And even though I convinced myself yesterday that Lizzy’s okay, the thought won’t leave me alone that maybe I didn’t protect her well enough. That maybe Nicolas is right.
The first night in my new home was rough, especially after it was decided yesterday that I’ll be a married woman in just two weeks. And that we are attending the gala today, where the press will be watching our every move closely. And we’ll have to play the part, pretend we’re madly in love. The thought makes me nervous, and I stare out the window at the evening sky, feeling defeated. My chest tightens, and as always, the sadness overcomes me swiftly and without warning.
“I’m doing this for you, Phil. I hope you know that, wherever you are,” I whisper into the void and force a strained smile, because I know he can’t hear me. No one does.
Two weeks. That’s a hell of a short time, even by royal standards.
“You look beautiful, Lia,” Lizzy’s soft voice sounds from behind me, and I lift my head in surprise, meeting her gaze in the mirror. Her eyes are filled with so much guilt it makes my heart ache. I quickly stand and go to her.
“Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in bed… with your stomach bug?” I scold her gently, making air quotes as I speak, since we told her parents she wasn’t feeling well. I pull her into my arms, careful not to let her notice that something’s off with me. But Lizzy hugs me tightly, and I bite my lip to hold back a whimper, because it hurts. Every inch of my body hurts.
At least the evening gown I picked for the gala hides the bruises. It’s a floor-length gown, crafted from blue lace layered over a nude lining that ensures nothing shows through, hugging my body like a second skin. It sparkles subtly, with delicate stones and silver threads woven in. The only bold detail is the slit along the side, but since Henry focused on my upper body, that’s fine.
“I’m okay, Lia. Thanks to you and Nicolas, I’m okay. But that’s exactly why I’m here. How was your first night? And what came out of the meeting yesterday? Nicolas won’t say a word,” she grumbles, clearly annoyed, and gives me a slightly challenging look.
Don’t even think about keeping me in the dark too,her eyes seem to say, and I can’t help but smile, because that’s my best friend.
With a deep sigh, I turn back to my vanity and the mirror, sinking into the chair again.
Yeah… how do you even describe that?
“Let’s just say he gave me a little preview of how things are going to be between us from now on,” I reply vaguely, earning the full force of Lizzy’s x-ray stare. She fixes me with the intensity of a hawk eyeing its prey, and I try to hold her gaze, try not to look away, but I don’t quite manage. The guilt presses down on me like a heavy weight, and she sees it instantly.
“Whatexactlydid he say?” Lizzy continues to stare me down, drags a chair over, and sits beside me with her arms crossed in a very pointed gesture. I glance at her sideways, and one of her eyebrows arches up.
God, she looks just like both of them.
“Spill it. I know that face. And I know my brother. What did he do?”
“He just made it clear to your best friend that it wasn’t HER who paid for that night—but YOU. That YOU had to bear the consequences, not HER. That YOU nearly died. Even though SHE was the one who dragged you into it,” a deep, rough voice reaches my ear, and I spin around in shock.
Nicolas is leaning casually against the doorframe of the dressing room, and God help me, I can’t stop staring. He looks… breathtaking in that black tux. The way he’s standing there, watching me, sends my heart racing.
And I curse myself for it.
His face shows nothing as his eyes trail over me from head to toe, and the intensity of his gaze makes me have to suppress a shiver. But when his eyes finally meet mine, I can’t look away, and the air thickens around us. I feel heat rising through me.
Heaven help me.
“Why am I not even surprised?” Lizzy mutters with an eye roll, stepping in front of her brother. His gaze shifts to his little sister, and instantly a soft, affectionate glint lights up in his eyes. A sharp ache twists in my chest.
Why can’t Henry ever look at me like that? What’s wrong with me that all I ever get are dismissive or angry looks?
