With nothing better to do, I strike up a conversation with Sylvia about nothing in particular, hoping to make him shift his attention back to me.
I flick my hair over my shoulder and steal a glance at him when she’s not looking.
Nothing works. The man is as cold as a polar cap.
So what was that then? That look that had permeated every layer of my soul?
I’ve never seen him look like that at anyone.
I hope Sylvia didn’t catch that expression on his face.
His eyes locked onto mine, searching for something.
Is there anything under that shell of ice? A shred of emotion? A pang of sympathy?
Who knows?
Unable to make him look at me again, I wrap up my conversation with my grandmother and use the first opportunity to sneak out.
Her phone rings, and she excuses herself and heads out the door as well.
I pace myself so I don’t walk out with her––I’ve had enough of her presence this evening––and soon after, I move as quickly as I can down a corridor to avoid other people.
Moments later, I enter a bathroom, exit it just as fast through a second door, make a right, reach a different door, and I’m out of the house.
Finally.
A sigh of relief trickles out of my chest as the night envelopes me with the stimulating scent of the blooming shrubs and freshly cut grass.
The night smells like freedom, and for the first time tonight, it dawns on me that no matter what will happen in my life, I need to fight hard for this.
The right to be free, to fill my lungs with fresh air in peace, and not be indebted and accountable to anyone.
Have no one expect anything from me when I wake up in the morning.
I don’t know what it will take to accomplish that, but I’m willing to sacrifice everything to get to the point where I’m my own person and callthe shots.
And for once in my life, I don’t want to look over my shoulder and have my head on a swivel.
LELANI
Distracted,I push my gaze over the crowd and look for Rory.
My beautiful friend, Rory.
What will happen to her if I’m gone?
Will we be able to keep in touch?
Or will they confiscate my phone?
They’ve threatened to do this to me before.
Although I’m hardly ever on my phone. When I am, I’m mostly talking to her.
I can’t find her.
She must be inside or on the other side of the house.
