I bite my lip, feeling conflicted about what to do. “I’m not supposed to talk about it. To anyone.”
Adora’s eyes are troubled. As a Montoni and married to a Vici, she knows just how dangerous our world can be. “Of course. I understand. No matter what, I’ll always be here for you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, tears brimming in my eyes. I wish I’d done more for her when she was suffering at her father’s hands.“I’m sorry I didn’t know how bad things were for you at home before you married Vincenzo.”
“You couldn’t have known because I didn’t tell anyone. But why are you bringing that up now?” Her kind expression shifts to horrified. “Wait, are your parents treating you the way Dad treated me? Lucy, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
My throat is locked tight with emotion. I shouldn’t breathe a word of what’s happening at home, but I have to tell someone. “Will you promise me that you won’t breathe a word to anyone what I’m about to tell you? It’s a matter of life or death. You can’t tell Cristiano, and you can’t tell your husband either.”
“But if your mom and dad are hurting you, maybe Vincenzo can help.”
“He can’t help. No one can. Mom and Dad…caught me and Damiano.”
She frowns in confusion. “Caught you and Damiano doing what?”
I look at her helplessly, wishing I didn’t have to spell this out to her. “Caught us together.Togethertogether.”
Adora’s eyes widen. She stares at me for a long time, and to her credit, she doesn’t look disgusted. Just surprised. “Together like lovers?”
I nod, clenching my hands on my skirt. Adora knows that Damiano and I weren’t born into the Barone family, though Mom and Dad like to pretend to all of Malus that we were. Back in high school, I told Adora that Damiano and I were orphaned when a meth house exploded, without also explaining that it was the first day that Damiano and I met.
Adora chooses her next words carefully. “You and your brother have always been so close. I envied your good relationship with him when we were in high school because my relationship with my brother was never anything special. Damiano’s very good-looking and he adores you. The two of youwere traumatized as kids, and he’s been your knight in, well, black armor ever since. If the two of you were confused and things got carried away…”
She’s waiting for me to say that being with Damiano was a mistake, and it will never happen again, and I can’t do that. “We weren’t confused. It’s not the first time things have happened between us. We love each other. Can I tell you a secret?”
“That’s not the secret?” she bursts out in surprise.
I take her hand in mine and squeeze it tightly. “There’s something that Mom and Dad don’t know. You can’t tell anyone, because if they find out, they’ll kill me. You understand that I’m not exaggerating, don’t you? They will murder me and chop me into a million little pieces.”
Adora looked worried before, but now she starts to look scared. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. I don’t want you to die.”
I take a deep breath. I have to tell someone, or I think I might go crazy. “Damiano is not my brother by birth. His real sister died in the explosion that nearly killed us both. When we were at the hospital, Damiano pretended I was his sister, and we’ve been lying about who we are ever since.”
Adora is silent for several seconds as she processes this. “You mean you’re not related?”
I shake my head. “No, we’re not. We met as strangers when I was ten and he was twelve. Damiano refused to leave my side, and when Mom and Dad chose him to be their son, he insisted that his sister be adopted with him. He fought so hard for me. They never wanted me. They only wanted him. They still only want him. I’m only allowed to keep breathing because they think I’m Damiano’s flesh and blood.”
“Surely the Barones must have some affection for you after all these years?”
I burst out laughing, but there’s nothing funny about this. “Are you kidding? They hate me. If they find out the truth, they’llkill me. If I don’t agree to this marriage, they’ll kill me. Without Damiano, I may as well die. No one has ever loved me like he does. The only way I can remain in Malus and be close to him is if I marry someone else, and it’s breaking my heart.”
We’re silent for a long time as I try my best not to cry. I fail, and Adora hands me a tissue.
“No wonder you love Damiano. He’s completely devoted to you.”
I stare at the crumbled tissue in my hands. “I’m sorry about your cousin. I’ve just confessed to you that I’ll never be able to give him my heart.”
“Barones and Montonis don’t marry for love. I know that better than most.”
“But you love your husband.”
Her face lightens with love as she smiles. “I do. I love him so much, and he loves me. I wish you could have the same happiness in your marriage.”
Wishing isn’t going to do me any good. Damiano is going to have to watch me marry another man. I’ll probably have to watch him marry another woman. Jealousy sears my insides. For the rest of our lives, we’ll be bonded in loveless marriages. I don’t know how we’re going to survive.
“What can I do to help?” Adora asks.
Adora has already done so much by listening to my secrets and comforting me while I cry. There’s nothing else she or anyone else can do. Damiano and I are in a hell of our own making.
