The words hang between us, sharp and accusing.
“I’m so sorry, Lucy.” Damiano presses his forehead to mine. “I love you. That will never change. No matter what happens, you’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”
“Then why does it feel like I’m losing you?”
He doesn’t answer. He just holds me while I cry. Get married. Live with a man who isn’t Damiano. Let him touch me. Have his children. Pretend to love him. I’ve never even looked at a man in desire who isn’t Damiano, and now I’m supposed to give myself, body and soul, to a stranger?
I touch his handsome face. Trace the strong lines of his jaw. The beautiful lips that have kissed mine so tenderly. Damiano is my home. My everything.
“If I get married, can I stay in Malus?” I ask through my tears. “Can I still be near you?”
Damiano’s eyes fill with anger. “Lucy,no.”
My bedroom door opens, and Mom enters. She looks at me in Damiano’s arms, and she doesn’t bother to hide her disgust. She thinks we’re repulsive. That our attraction to each other is against all the laws of nature, God, and man.
I glare at her from beneath my wet lashes. I don’t care what she believes. She’s never cared about me. I hate her and Dad more than anyone in the world.
“Well,” she says in a brisk tone, addressing Damiano. “Did you tell her?”
“We need more time,” he says through clenched teeth.
“No, we don’t,” I say, in a voice so strong that it surprises me. I wipe the tears from my eyes and face her. I know what Damiano wants, but it’s my decision how my heart breaks, not his.
“I’ll do what you want,” I tell Mom. “I’ll marry a man you choose for me.”
Triumph lights in Mom’s eyes. Damiano seizes my hand. “Lucy, you can’t do this.”
I keep looking at Mom. “On one condition. I stay in Malus, and Damiano and I see each other whenever we want. You and Dad or my future husband won’t try to keep us apart.”
Mom’s lip curls in disgust. “So you can keep sleeping with your brother?”
“So I can still see my brother!” I cry. “He’s the only person I love in the whole world. I won’t betray my husband, but I will have my brother in my life.”
Damiano looks as though he’s going to shatter into a million pieces, but this is the only way. I won’t have his kisses.
I won’t have his heart.
But I won’t lose him forever, and without Damiano, I think I would die.
I grip Damiano’s hand for strength and speak quickly to Mom. “And I want a big wedding. Hundreds of guests. No expense spared. Loving speeches from you and Dad. A celebration befitting a Barone daughter. I won’t be married off quietly like a shameful, dirty secret.”
A big wedding takes time to plan. Anything to delay the inevitable.
Mom’s lips press together, and her expression tells me that she thinks I am shameful and dirty, and I don’t deserve a big, beautiful wedding. But she wants this problem over and done with. Finally, she says, “That’s a lot more than one condition, but fine. If that’s what you want.”
It’s not what I want at all. None of this is what I want, but I’m cornered, and there’s only one way out. In a shaking voice, I manage, “Yes, it’s what I want.”
Mom nods. “Fine. I’ve been making some phone calls. Tomorrow night, you’re going to meet your future husband.”
“Tomorrow?” I cry, and Damiano echoes me. He holds my hand in a death grip. I thought I’d have a few months before anything was decided. At least a few weeks. “Who am I marrying?”
“Your father believes there should be stronger ties between the prominent Malus families,” Mom says, giving Damiano a devastating side-eye. “Something that Damiano tried to achieve but failed. Assuming he accepts you, you’re going to marry a Montoni. It’s an excellent match, and far better than you deserve.”
“Lucy is not marrying Cristiano Montoni,” Damiano snarls.
Mom laughs. “Don Cristiano? Lucy, be the wife of a don? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s been decided that Ariana is going to marry the Montoni don. Lucy will marry his cousin, Andreas.”
The name drops like a stone in my stomach. Andreas Montoni.
