We were caught. We nearly lost everything. We could still lose everything because I couldn’t keep a tight hold of my jealousy.
I’m already failing her.
My phone rings, and I glance at it on my nightstand. It’s Dad, no doubt wanting to talk business. He only ever calls me if it’s business. I’m going to have to pull myself together and act like this is a normal day in front of Don Carlucci, the brutal and unforgiving head of the Barone crime family.
Lucy and I will find a way to be together because we’re stronger together than apart.
I just have to stop being so fucking weak.
9
Lucy
Ipunch the boxing pads my personal trainer is holding up so hard that he finally waves them in surrender. “Whoa, Lucy. I’m beginning to think you’re trying to kill me.”
I swipe my sweaty brow with my forearm and unfasten my boxing gloves. “Sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Like the fact that my brother is icing me out again. Ever since Ariana caught us, Damiano’s been treating me like I’m made of glass. We promised that we’d work together and be stronger together. He kissed me by the flames and promised he’d find a way for us to be together.
And now he won’t even look me in the eye.
“Whose face were you picturing?”
“I was thinking about my family,” I fume.
He grins. “That’ll do it. Hit the showers, and I’ll see you on Wednesday.”
I apologize again and thank him for the session, then I head to the locker room. Ninety minutes of kickboxing and weighttraining hasn’t quelled the snarl of furious emotions inside me. I haven’t managed to speak to Damiano in private ever since we were in his bed. Every time Ariana looks at me, her lips curl in disgust. Mom and Dad haven’t screamed at me or thrown me out of the house, so I guess that means she didn’t tell them that she found her siblings in bed together.
Yet.
I wish I knew what Damiano said to silence her.
I take off my sweaty workout clothes and get into the shower, blasting the water as hard as it goes. It’s not fair. We finally sneak around and get hot and heavy in his bed, and we’re immediately caught. He was about a second from sinking all the way into me and claiming me as his. I’ve been saving my virginity my whole damn life for him.
Ariana’s expression of horror as she saw him on top of me has probably driven itself deeply into his psyche, a little taste of the nuclear meltdown that will occur if Mom and Dad ever walk in on us in bed together. I’ve never gotten along with my sister, but right now, I could strangle her.
I angle my neck left and right under the spray. Maybe it’s time our secret came out. Dad couldn’t be that angry with us for lying to him for all these years, could he?
I bite my lip. I don’t know my father as well as Damiano, but I know enough to be afraid of him. It’s a stupid idea to tell him the truth. If he found out we’ve been lying to him all these years, Dad would be furious. Murderously angry.
I stand for a long time under the hot spray. Every scenario I play out in my mind—honesty, secrecy, lies—ends up with me being thrown out of this family and never seeing Damiano again. Or I’m killed.
I’m playing with fire, but I’m not ready to stop fighting. Damiano’s love isn’t the only thing I crave. I refuse to be married off to a stranger of my father’s choosing. I want to prove myworth in other ways and stay right by Damiano’s side as his equal.
That night when I arrive in the dining room, Damiano is the only one there. As our eyes meet, there’s an expression of naked hunger in his eyes. The same look he had by the burning warehouse before he kissed me. We move closer to each other, and then we’re in each other’s arms.
Our first real embrace since Ariana caught us.
“I missed you,” he breathes. He takes my face in his hands and presses kisses all over my cheeks, forehead, and throat. Pulling back, he sucks his lower lip into his mouth, desperate for my taste. Claiming it from everywhere but my lips.
My hands clench on his shoulders.I know you want to, so just kiss me.But I’ve begged him enough. If he won’t claim my lips, that’s his loss. I have other things on my mind.
“So, about you and me,” I say lightly.
He immediately tenses, but his eyes drop to my mouth, and his thumbs caress my bare shoulders. “You and me?”
“Family business. Mafia business. I told you, I want in.”
