“Pretty sure there is.”
“And what, do you rack up frequent flyer miles for every orgasm? Is there, like, a confessional before you get the keys, or do they just check your STD results at the door?”
I flip him off. “You’d never pass the background check.”
He laughs, undeterred. "Do you have to bring your own lube…like BYOB, but BYOL?"
I groan. “Jesus, Arrow, I’m actually trying to tell you something important.”
He smirks, unfazed. “Just saying, a guy would appreciate a souvenir. Branded blindfold? Holy water in a shot glass?”
“Can you stop being a pervert for two seconds?”
Arrow shrugs, winking. “All right, I’m done. So, Heaven. Mystery girl. Blindfolds. Did she have wings, or just the ass of an angel?”
“For fuck’s sake, Arrow!”
He throws his hands up, still grinning like an idiot. “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up. Preach, Father Ben. Take me to church.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Arrow, this is actually serious.”
He whistles low. “I mean, if Heaven’s got you this messed up, I’d pay good money to see what goes down in Hell. But fine, continue. So, you banged a mystery chick in Heaven, didn’t see her face, and now what, she’s haunting your dick?”
I shot him a look that could kill. “I didn’t see her whole face. That’s the point. I know who she is now. I didn’t, not that night. But I do now.”
Arrow just stares, the grin finally fading when he starts putting everything together. “Well. Holy fuck.”
I keep talking, words falling out fast now that the dam is broken. “It was her first time, she was scared shitless, but she did it anyway. All I could think about tonight was her in the truck, the way she fell apart for me, and how it was the same. The exact same.” My breath comes sharp. “She doesn’t know, Arrow. She has no clue it was me.”
Arrow just stares.
He finally finds his voice, “So, you’re letting her believe you’re some other guy?”
I pace faster, head down, hands yanking at my hair. “What the hell was I supposed to do? First it was…fuck, I didn’t know how to tell her. The longer I waited, the harder it got. Tonight, I kept thinking, this isn’t fair. I’m taking something she’d never give me if she knew the truth.”
Arrow doesn’t say anything right away. Then, he stands up, and it’s like I’m talking to a different person. There’s this coiled tension in him now…protective and pissed as hell.
When he speaks, his voice is a blade. “You think this ends well, Ben? You think you can build something real on a lie that fucking huge? I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”
I flinch. There’s no defending it.
Arrow stalks closer, fists clenched at his sides. “She trusts you. You said that yourself. You think lying is better than just telling her the truth?”
I rake both hands over my face, completely undone. “If she finds out, she’ll never forgive me. Why the fuck would she want to be with some asshole who…who took advantage of her like that?”
Arrow gets in my face, going into big-brother mode dialed up to eleven. “If you care about her half as much as you say you do, you owe her the truth. Now. Before it’s too late.”
I can’t breathe. Every muscle’s locked tight.
He softens, just a little, but the words are steel. “If what you’ve got is real, Ben, the truth won’t break it. But the lie will. Every time. Don’t be a coward. She deserves better from you.”
My knees nearly buckle. I grip the back of the recliner, holding myself together by sheer force of will. “It’s killing me, Arrow. Every time I touch her, I’m lying to her. I want to be the guy she sees, not…this.”
Arrow finally backs off, running a hand over his mouth. He shakes his head, disappointed but not surprised. “Then fix it before you wreck the best thing you’ve ever had.”
We stand there, staring at each other. The baby monitor hums. “What if I tell her and she walks away?”
Arrow glares, eyes sharp. “What if you don’t tell her, and she finds out some other way? Are you ready for that kind of bullshit? Because I don’t think you are.”
