For a second, I want to tell her everything. Instead, I let the moment breathe.
Sometimes you don’t need words. Sometimes, you just have to give someone a reason to hope.
Finally, “Keep it covered for a day, then let it breathe. Don’t swim. Don’t scratch. If it gets infected, come back and I’ll fix it for free. No questions.”
She looks up, eyes wide. “I…thank you…?”
“Ben,” I offer.
She repeats it, and hearing my name in her mouth does something to my chest. Like I just won a fight I didn’t know I was in.
She pulls on her jacket, and I know if I don’t say something, I’ll never see her again.
Fuck it.
“Would you ever want to have dinner with me? Or coffee. I just…I’d really like to see you again.”
She freezes, deer-in-headlights, chin down. I don’t know if she thinks I’m joking or just being cruel like everyone else.
I step back, hands up. “No pressure. Seriously. Just…forget it if it’s too much.”
But she shakes her head, letting a real smile break through. “No, it’s not too much. It’s…nobody’s ever asked me out. Not like that.”
“Yeah, well. Maybe they’re idiots.”
She laughs, and it hits me like fresh air in a locked room. She digs out her phone, hands it to me. I type in my number and hand it back. She stares at the contact like its gold.
At this moment, everything else falls away. There are no venomous words being spoken or mean girls lurking. It’s just me and her.
I walk her to the door. She hesitates at first, and I think she might hug me. She settles for a lingering look over her shoulder, that secret smile just for me.
“I’ll call you,” she says. And then she’s gone.
I close the door lean against it, letting out a breath I’ve been holding for a month.
“That looked promising,” Arrow shouts from his station, grinning like a jackass. “Should I order flowers, or just buy you a crate of condoms?”
Corinne rolls her eyes, throwing a glare his way. “Ignore him, Ben. He’s just jealous your social life doesn’t revolve around Paw Patrol and sippy cups.”
Arrow shrugs, hands up. “Hey, the Paw Patrol are legends. But if you need advice, you know where to find me.”
I shake my head, but the smile won’t leave my face.
Chapter 5
April
I rip off my jacket,toss it onto the bed, and stare down the mess of clothes piling up across my bed. Nothing fits right. Every dress or top feels wrong, they are either too clingy or too boring. I finger the edge of the bandage, and a smile sneaks through. Lilyes. Real, beautiful, and not the punchline my Debora and Branda were expecting. My heart does this weird little lurch just thinking about it. About Ben.
Dress, April. Focus.
I yank hangers off the rod, trying not to destroy the few things I actually like. Jeans aren’t happening, not tonight, anyway. They aren’t sexy enough. I settle on the black A-line dress I keep near the back of my closet. The one I wore to my mom’s memorial dinner when I was fifteen because it was the only thing I owned that made me look like I belonged.
Thank God, it still fits. Well, sort of.
I guess you could say it’s the right kind of small. It hugs my curves just right, flaring out in a way that makes my hips look curvy instead of awkward. I pair it with my favorite cardigan. It's the softest thing I own, even if the sleeves have a tiny hole at the wrist. I add black tights, mostly to keep warm, but because my knees look weird bare.
I check the mirror, sucking in, turning so I can see the line of my waist. When I reach down to smooth the fabric over my hip, it doesn’t even hurt. The Lilyes are there, a secret just for me. And I can’t help but smile wider.
