Once she left, it was just me and Toni again, and when I looked at her, I saw how red her eyes was, and how tired she looked even though she ain’t complain once.
That shit did somethin’ to me…
She was strong as hell… and she still was holdin’ it together, but this was just who she was.
I stepped closer to her slow, my hands comin’ up to her gown, and I held her eyes while I slid it down her waist, lettin’ it fall to the floor.
Her body was full now, her stomach round and heavy with my baby. Her breasts was full, nipples pretty as hell and her skin warm under my hands. I couldn’t even lie; the shit turned methe fuck on. But it wasn’t just that, it was everything about this moment.
I cupped her breasts in my hands, caressin’ ’em slow while my eyes stayed locked on hers, then I dropped down to my knees in front of her.
My hands slid to her stomach, spreadin’ over it while I leaned in and pressed my lips against her skin.
“Yeah… we waitin’ on you, lil’ mama,” I murmured against her belly, kissin’ it slow. “You hear me, ’Lo? You takin’ your time, huh?”
Toni let out a soft breath above me, her fingers slidin’ into my hair while I kept kissin’ her.
“I know you feel all this too,” I continued low, my voice softer now. “I know you tryna get right… but we ready for you. Me and your mama right here waitin’ on you.”
I pressed another kiss to her stomach, lettin’ it linger there for a second before I looked up at Toni again.
“She good… she just takin’ her time,” I told her, rubbin’ her belly, soothin’ both of ’em.
Then I stood back up and helped her into the pool, holdin’ her steady while she stepped in slow, her body relaxin’ a lil’ once that water hit her.
She sank down into it, lettin’ out a breath like it was the first time she could really ease up.
I got down on my knees outside the pool, reachin’ for her hand and bringin’ it to my mouth, kissin’ the back of it a couple times.
“I got you… we right here,” I murmured.
My other hand came back to her stomach, restin’ there while I looked at her.
Now it was just about waitin’ this shit out.
Hours passed and Toni was still in labor.
I ain’t even gon lie, the shit started weighin’ on me in a way I wasn’t ready for. At first I was locked in, calm, talkin’ to her, rubbin’ her, kissin’ her through it like I could carry some of the pain for her, but as the hours kept stackin’ up and them contractions kept hittin’ harder, it started feelin’ like I was watchin’ somebody I love get put through some shit I couldn’t stop.
She was leaned over the edge of the pool now, her arms braced against it while her head hung low, and the sounds comin’ out her mouth wasn’t nothin’ soft no more. That shit was brittle and raw, like it was comin’ from somewhere deep in her body. Every time she let one of ’em out, I felt it in my chest like it was pressin’ up against my ribs.
“Toni… come here, baby,” I murmured low, already movin’ closer to her, my hands comin’ up to her face while tears streamed down it nonstop. I ain’t even think, I just leaned in and started kissin’ ’em away, slow and careful, like I could ease somethin’ in her just by touchin’ her like this.
Her hair was still tied up in that ponytail I did earlier, but the way her head kept movin’ with the pain had it comin’ loose anyway, so I reached up and pulled it out, lettin’ all that long, thick hair fall down her back. It had got longer with this pregnancy. It was fuller too, and it slid through my fingers easy as I worked my hand through her scalp, massagin’ it slow while I kept my mouth close to her face.
“I got you… I’m right here,” I told her, my lips brushin’ along her cheek while another contraction hit her hard enough to make her whole body tense up under my hands.
My mama was right here by her other side, her voice calm like always, talkin’ Toni through it, rubbin’ her belly and checkin’ on my baby like she could already feel her comin’.
“My sweet ’Lo’Lo… you hear your grandma?” she asked soft, her hand movin’ over Toni’s stomach. “We ready for you, baby. You can come on down now.”
Toni let out another sound that made my chest tighten up again, and I had to force myself not to start movin’ around too much, ’cause I could feel that urge in me to pace, to do somethin’, anything, but I knew that wasn’t gon’ help her. She needed me right here, and not all over the place actin’ like I ain’t have no control.
Still… my nerves was gettin’ fucked up.
I stayed with her as long as I could, rubbin’ her, kissin’ her, talkin’ to her low, but after a minute I felt it buildin’ up too much in me, and I knew I needed to step out for a second before I lost my composure in front of her.
“I’ll be right back,” I told her low, pressin’ one more kiss to her temple before I forced myself to step away.
