“I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. You hear me?” I said low, my hand still movin’ over her stomach, rubbin’ her through it while I kept my body close to hers. “You don’t gotta do none of this alone.”
My mama came back in after a minute with a cup. Her presence was still calm and warm as she handed it to Toni.“Drink this, sweetheart. It will help your body relax and keep your contractions from overwhelming you too quickly.”
I helped Toni sit up just enough to take it, keepin’ one arm around her while she drank, then eased her back down slow, pullin’ her right back into me, not lettin’ our connection break.
After a while, her body started to ease some. The tension in her shoulders dropped little by little, and her breathin’ slowed until her eyes got heavy.
She fell asleep right in my arms.
I stayed still, just watchin’ her for a second, takin’ in the way her face finally relaxed, the way she leaned into me even in her sleep, and I leaned in, pressin’ a kiss to her lips, then another one right under her jaw.
“Yeah… get you some rest,” I said low, my hand still movin’ over her stomach.
My mama stepped closer, her voice soft but sure. “I’ll give you both some time. Call me when she wakes up again. We’ll reassess then.”
“Okay ma,” I replied, my eyes still on Toni.
Once she left, the room went quiet again, and it was just me and my babies.
My hand stayed on her stomach, rubbin’ slow while my mind drifted without me even tryna control it.
I started thinkin’ about my daughter for real, and how she was gon’ look, how she was gon’ sound, and how it was gon’ feel the first time I held her.
That’s all I been waitin’ on.
All this time, all this shit, all the tension me and Toni been goin’ through… none of that changed this part.
I wanted my baby…
I tightened my arm around Toni, real careful not to wake her, and rested my face close to hers, breathin’ her in while I stayed right here.
Just a lil’ longer… and my daughter was gon’ be in my arms.
I still had Toni in my arms, holdin’ her close while she slept against me, her body finally gettin’ a small break after everything it had just been put through.
I ain’t move not once, not even when my arm started feelin’ heavy, ’cause the way she was leaned into me told me she needed that contact more than anything else right now. My hand stayed spread over her stomach, rubbin’ slow like I had been doin’, feelin’ my baby shift under my palm every now and then. For a second, it almost felt peaceful in here, like we had found a pocket of quiet in the middle of all this.
But then that peace ain’t last long.
Toni’s body tensed up outta nowhere, and I felt it before I even saw it. It was the way her stomach tightened under my hand and her fingers grippin’ at me like she was reachin’ for somethin’ to hold on to.
“Mmm… Kay’Lo…” she let out, her voice low and strained as her eyes squeezed shut.
I was already adjustin’ my hold on her before she could even try to move on her own. “Yeah, I got you… I’m right here, baby,” I told her, my voice low and close to her ear while I slid my hand down to her lower back and started rubbin’ into it, givin’ her somethin’ to push against.
She couldn’t even respond but just leaned into me harder while her breath started comin’ uneven, and I could feel how strong that contraction was hittin’ her this time.
“Breathe, baby… come on, breathe through it,” I murmured, keepin’ my voice calm even though every part of me tightened seein’ her like this.
She tried, but it wasn’t like before. This one had her fightin’ just to catch her breath, her chest movin’ faster while her face tightened up like she was tryin’ not to let it show how bad it hurt.
The shit hit me in my chest different ’cause I ain’t like seein’ her like this at all.
“Ma,” I called on the phone without even thinkin’, or takin’ my eyes off Toni while I kept my hand movin’ on her back. “She just woke up. She in a lot of pain.”
My mama was back in the room quick, already pullin’ on gloves while she walked over like she had been waitin’ on this exact moment.
“Toni, sweetheart, I’m going to check you again, alright?” she said soft, but focused, already movin’ between her legs.
