She blinked like she ain’t expect that, and for a second she just looked at me before her hand came up, restin’ against my chest.
“I don’t want you thinking I’m tryna lock my womb down on you,” she said soft, her voice careful but real.
“I hear you,” I told her, keepin’ my hand on her face. “And I don’t want you feelin’ like that’s all I see you as either. You more than that. You my wife before anything.”
Her eyes softened, and I could see that shit hittin’ her.
“I just don’t want you takin’ your love away from me,” I added.
She leaned in and kissed me, slow and soft.
“I couldn’t do that if I tried,” she whispered.
That right there broke whatever was left of that distance between us.
I pulled her into me, holdin’ her tight while I kissed her again, deeper this time, my hand slidin’ down her back while hers moved over me like she was tryna feel me again after all that space.
I relit my blunt with one hand while keepin’ her close with the other, takin’ a pull before passin’ it to her. She took it without sayin’ nothin’, her lips wrapin’ around it while her eyes stayed on mine, and for a second, it felt like everything was back where it was supposed to be.
We just sat here, smokin’, holdin’ each other, and lettin’ that silence turn into somethin’ soft instead of heavy.
When we finally went back inside, I ain’t even think twice about it. I climbed in bed and pulled her into me, layin’ on our sides while I wrapped my arms around her back, holdin’ her close, needin’ to feel her close.
Her arms came around me too, holdin’ on just as tight while her hand moved slow over my back, and I dipped my head down, catchin’ her lips again.
This time it lingered.
We gave each other slow, deep kisses, breathin’ each other in and lettin’ that connection settle back in where it belonged.
I held her like I wasn’t lettin’ go no time soon, my hand slidin’ up and down her back while she pressed into me. For the firsttime in days everything settled the way it was supposed to, not perfect and not without weight, but real in a way that reminded me she was still mine and I was still hers.
One month later…
Life with this new version of Kay’Lo had been some shit I could barely put into words, and that wasn’t even me tryna be dramatic. It was just real life hittin’ me in a way I wasn’t used to before. This past month felt like I had been livin’ inside somethin’ soft and warm, like everything that used to feel hard between us just eased up, and now all that was left was love, patience, and him showin’ me in real time that I was always worth doin’ things right for.
We was already married, already locked in and already knew what it was between us, but elopin’ how we did back then, it wasn’t about nobody else. It was just about us gettin’ it done and bein’ together without all the extra noise.
At the time, that was enough for me, ’cause I just wanted him, and I ain’t care how it looked as long as I had my man. But now, with everything we done been through, especially with that trial hangin’ over our heads like that, it was like he woke up one day and decided he wanted to give me everything I never even asked for out loud.
Kay’Lo ain’t do a lot of talkin’ when he got in his feelins like that, but I had seen it in his actions before he ever really said it.
Soon as that case got dismissed and all that weight lifted off his shoulders, he looked at me different, like he was finally able to breathe again, and the first thing he did was start talkin’ about plannin’ a weddin’.
He wanted a real one. Not no quick “let’s just get it done” type shit, but somethin’ big, somethin’ beautiful and somethin’ where everybody that mattered could be there and see me as his wife the way he always saw me.
At first I ain’t even know how to take it, ’cause I wasn’t expectin’ all that, and I wasn’t about to sit here and act like I’d been dreamin’ about a big weddin’ my whole life, but the more we started gettin’ into it, the more I realized it wasn’t even about the weddin’ itself. It was about him showin’ up for me in a way he couldn’t before, and once I understood that, I leaned into it.
Plannin’ a weddin’ wasn’t no small thing, and I learned that real quick. It wasn’t just pickin’ a dress and showin’ up lookin’ pretty. It was venues, dates, and guest lists, and food tastings, and flowers, and colors, and music, and all kinda shit I ain’t never even thought about before.
Every time I felt like I finally had somethin’ figured out, it was always somethin’ else to decide, and I ain’t gon’ lie, there was moments where I just sat there lookin’ at everything like, what the fuck did I get myself into.
But the crazy part was, I ain’t never feel overwhelmed the way I thought I would, and that was ’cause of my husband.
Kay’Lo had been right there through all of it, sittin’ next to me while I talked through ideas, noddin’ like he understood every detail even when I knew he ain’t care about half that shit, and just lettin’ me have my moment.
If I said I liked somethin’, he was already reachin’ for his card. If I changed my mind, he ain’t complain. He just told me to do whatever made me happy. He ain’t rush me, and he ain’t question me. He just was there, watchin’ me like he was proud or somethin’, and it made me feel good in a way I ain’t even know I needed.
And I hadn’t been goin’ through none of this alone either. Aside from the older Mensah women comin’ through for me, Pluto and Sha’Nelle had been locked in with me heavy, showin’ up to every appointment they could, givin’ their opinions, laughin’ with me and hypin’ me up when I started second guessin’ myself. It was a different kind of feelin’ havin’ women around you that really wanted to see you happy and not compete with you or make you feel like you had to dim yourself down.
