He looked at me and reached for my hand, but I pulled it back before he could grab it and pushed my hair behind my ear instead, trying to keep myself together.
I could feel my eyes starting to burn, and I blinked a few times, not wanting him to see it.
“What’s the problem, baby?” he asked, his voice changing just a little.
I swallowed and shook my head. “I don’t know about this.”
His brows pulled together.
“What you mean?” he asked.
“I don’t know if I wanna have another baby right now,” I replied, finally looking at him.
His expression changed immediately. “That ain’t even an option, baby.”
I let out a slow breath and looked away from him for a second.
“I hope you wasn’t thinkin’ ’bout no abortion,” he added.
I didn’t answer him, and that silence said enough.
He ran his hand down his face, his frustration clear now. “I don’t understand what the issue is.”
I looked back at him. “Pressure, Prestyn not even three yet. Kaylon barely one. I don’t wanna keep getting pregnant back-to-back like this.”
He shook his head. “You knew what you signed up for when you became my wife though, Pluto.”
That hit me wrong, and I felt it immediately.
“So that’s why you married me?” I asked. “So you can just keep knocking me up?”
He sighed, clearly irritated. “I married you ’cause I love you.”
“If you loved me, you would respect what I’m saying,” I replied.
He shook his head again. “You always do this, Pluto. Every time this shit come up, you turn it around on me like I’m wrong for wantin’ a family with my wife.”
I stared at him for a second, then looked away, feeling myself shut down.
I didn’t have the energy to keep going back and forth, and I didn’t feel like he was hearing me anyway.
I walked back over to the bed and got in, turning on my side and pulling the blanket up.
The room went quiet again, but it didn’t feel the same as before.
After a moment, I heard Pressure move, and then the door opened and closed.
He left…
I stayed where I was, staring at nothing while everything settled in at once. I loved my husband so much it hurt, and I loved our family, but this… this felt like too much right now, and I didn’t know how to make him understand that without it turning into something else every time.
My hand rested against my stomach without me even thinking about it, and I closed my eyes, feeling everything hit me all over again.
One week later…
A whole week went by and me and Pluto was still lowkey beefin’ around this bitch, and that shit ain’t sit right with me no matter how much I tried to act like it did.
We wasn’t yellin’ at each other or no shit like that, but that’s what made it worse, ’cause when Pluto get mad, she ain’t raise her voice or throw no attitude. She just shut the fuck down and move different, and I felt that shit in every room we stepped in together.
