“You can sit down here for a minute,” I told him, noddin’ toward the couch. “I’mma be back.”
I’m straight,” he replied.
I ain’t say nothin’ else after that. I just took Toni’s hand and led her upstairs, feelin’ how sweaty and tight her fingers wrapped around mine the moment we hit the steps, like she had been holdin’ herself together all damn day and finally had somewhere to put it.
By the time we got in the room, she ain’t even give herself a second.
She turned and threw herself onto me, her arms comin’ around my neck, pressin’ into me so tight it made my chest hurt. I caught her easily, my hands movin’ over her without thinkin’. One slid up her back while the other dropped over her stomach out of bad habit, holdin’ her right here where she belonged.
She buried her face into my chest, her breath warm against my skin. I felt how hard she was holdin’ onto my neck like she needed to make sure I wasn’t going to walk back out that door.
I just held her close, my chest pressed to hers, my hand movin’ slow over the side of her belly while everything in me started settlin’ now that I was back where I was supposed to be.
But my mind ain’t stay still…
My mind kept driftin’ back to what she did, and no matter how much I tried to stay with her in that moment, I couldn’t stop seein’ it play out in my head.
It was the way she really snuck out this bitch, eight months pregnant, movin’ like nothin’ could touch her, and like she ain’t have my child sittin’ low in her stomach, dependin’ on her to make it back in one piece. and then actually pullin’ that trigger like it wasn’t real consequences that came behind that shit.
That shit sat different with me, and it wasn’t ’cause I ain’t understand why she did it, but ’cause I knew how easily that could’ve gone the other way. If it had, I wouldn’t be standin’ here holdin’ her right now.
I was so irritated about the dumb shit she did. My jaw tightened a lil’, and I let a slow breath out through my nose, my hand flattenin’ over her stomach like I needed to ground myself in the fact that she was still here, still safe, and still carryin’ My’Love after all that reckless shit.
She sniffed against my chest, and that pulled me back to her.
I leaned back just enough to look at her, liftin’ her face with my hand so I could see her for real. Them tears slidin’ down her cheeks did somethin’ to me I ain’t even feel like dealin’ with right now.
I ain’t say nothin’. I just looked at her, ’cause I couldn’t bring myself to express how pissed off I was at her ass. She swallowed and pressed her lips together like she was tryna hold it in, but it still came out. “I’m sorry.”
That sat between us in a heavy way that ain’t need no extra words on it. I took a breath deep enough to feel it in my chest before I let it out slow, still lookin’ at her while I sorted througheverything in my head that I wasn’t about to dump on her at that moment.
Instead, I leaned in and kissed the side of her cheek, right under her eye, then let my hand drop back over her stomach, rubbin’ it slow.
“Baby… you need a bath,” I told her, noticin’ that her body was hot and sweatin’ like she was nervous.
She looked like she wanted to say somethin’ else, but I wasn’t givin’ her room for it.
I walked her into the bathroom and turned the water on. She stood there watchin’ me for a second, still anxious and all over the place, but she ain’t fight me on it.
I stepped behind her and slid my hands over her shoulders, workin’ the tension out of ’em slow until I felt her body start to give in just a lil’ bit.
“Chill,” I murmured.
She let out a breath, and I helped her out of her clothes, movin’ careful around her stomach, takin’ my time with her until I eased her into the tub.
Soon as the water hit her, I saw it in her face when her body finally started lettin’ go. I stayed right there, washin’ her slow, my hands movin’ over her like nothin’ else mattered more than takin’ care of her and our child. Every now and then, my hands would settle over her belly and rub it.
By the time I got her out and wrapped her in a towel, she was softer in my hands; not as tense or as wound up. I walked her back into the room and sat her down before I grabbed the lotion that helped with her stretch marks.
She watched me, real quiet now. I poured some in my hands before settin’ them on her stomach, spreadin’ it over her skin slow, takin’ my time with her like I always did. Her belly was full, tight, and heavy under my hands. I moved over it careful and firm enough to try to wake My’Love, but gentle enough notto make her uncomfortable. Her hand came up to the top of my head, her fingers slidin’ through my hair slow while I worked.
I leaned down and kissed her stomach, then again, my hand still movin’ over her.
“You feel her?” she asked real soft.
“Mmmhhmm,” I murmured, my voice low.
My hand shifted, followin’ the movement under her skin, feelin’ lil’ parts of My’Love pressin’ up against my palm like she was right there meetin’ me halfway.
