He hears me. Waits. And then, when I don’t add anything else, he says, "You came to work for Luna anyway."
"Some nightmares are worse than others."
"I want to ask you more about that." His voice is so careful, so deliberate, like he picks each word up and checks its weight before he uses it. Hewantsto ask me more. And then in case there was any doubt, he makes that explicit. "But I won't if you don't want me to."
The thing is?—
I do want him to. Here in this warm library in his old shirt, with the mountains all around us, dark and enormous, hiding us in this little valley. Everyone else asleep….I’m drawn to him. I want to confide everything in him, and let him wrap it up and throw it away for me.
He’s the type of guy who would find a way to protect me forever, I imagine. A true romance novel type of man, who can carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.
But there’s a trade-off in trusting a man like that. It’s not enough to take what they give you, you have to give something too. And I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to dothatagain.
Which makes me deeply, deeply sad. The weight of the secrets I’ve been carrying for the last couple of years is so heavy.
Too heavy to share with someone like Luna, who has her own scars. She'd be kind about it in a way I don't think I could survive right now. Her particular sweetness would unravel me completely.
But Zane’s quiet steadiness…it’s inviting.
The words are right there.
They stay right there.
"Another time, maybe," he says, softer again. Like he sees how close I am, and thinks maybe tomorrow I’ll make a different choice.
I nod. My throat is too full for anything else.
He tucks his own phone in the back pocket of his jeans. Closes up his notebook and sets it neatly to one side of the desk. “Will you be all right by yourself on the main floor if I head downstairs to bed?”
Another nod.
He crosses to the door in a few long strides.
Don’t admire his body, don’t admire?—
And then he’s gone.
I exhale in a rush, heat flaming my cheeks. My knees feel a little weak, which meansI’mweak,but we survived that, which is all that matters.
Crossing to the small table that he put the book and the phone he’s loaning me on, I touch the screen gingerly.
It lights up, no passcode required.
Wide open access to the whole world. Something I haven’t had in four years.
I stare down at it like it might bite me.
“Oh, I forgot I wanted to ask you—” Zane strides back in.
I jump away from the phone like I’ve been caught being naughty, spinning away from the table and into his path.
Chapter 11
Zane
I catch Hope just above the elbows, my bare fingers hooking around her slim upper arms. That only makes her jump away from me again, and she backs up until she bumps into the doorframe.
“Whoa, it’s okay,” I say, and I know I’m talking to her like I do a scared filly, but that’s what Hope is.
