The relief I feel when I slide into bed next to Bellamy isn’t normal, I know that.
This is why I need to keep running.
Derek is paranoid and doesn’t trust the government. Doesn’t have any current ID, either. So he won’t be able to get on a plane. I have to get far enough away that it would be too risky for him to get to me, even if he tracked down my location.
Saskatchewan, maybe. Manitoba. Ontario, even, if my car can get that far.
Maybe I’ll keep driving until I reach the far end of Canada. Hide away somewhere in Newfoundland until Bellamy and?—
I snap my eyes shut and roll onto my back, fighting to control my breathing.
Go to sleep, Hope.
I need it. I can feel my body screaming for rest.
But even with my eyes squeezed tight, I lieawake for what feels like hours, listening to the unfamiliar sounds of this place. Wind in the trees outside. The distant sound of animals. The creak of light footsteps heading up a far stairwell, in the direction of Luna’s studio.
And then nothing.
I wonder how long it took her to stop looking over her shoulder, or if, even after twenty years, maybe she still does.
I wake before dawn, ripped from sleep by a nightmare that fades before I can see it clearly.
I shiver, even though the room we’re sleeping in is nice and warm.
“Mommy?”
“Good morning, Bella.” I reach for her, and she crawls on top of me.
But it doesn’t take long before she wriggles down. “I have to pee.”
Once we’re both refreshed, I get us dressed for the day, butterflies rioting in my belly. I need to ask Luna if I can do some laundry, because our clothes are dirty. But since we’re going to be in the greenhouses all day, that’s not the end of the world.
Downstairs, we follow the scent of coffee and something sweet to the kitchen, where Bellamy’s eyes light up at the sight of muffins on the counter.
“There are eggs in the fridge, if you’d like,” Luna says from behind me.
I whirl around.
“I’m so sorry,” she says.
I press my hand to my chest. “Good morning. Muffins are all we need.”
“Zane makes bacon for everyone, too. It’s in the oven.” She crosses to the coffee pot and fills her mug. “Cups are here, if you want some.”
I move myself forward. “Thank you.” And now I need to ask for yet another favour. “I was hoping I could maybe do some laundry tonight?”
“Of course. There’s a washer and dryer at the end of the hall, in the mudroom next to the library. And we have extra clothes that you can wear while we’re working, too…” She scurries away, then returns with a small stack of soft, worn cotton. “These are t-shirts and flannel pants that I’ve been saving to use as rags at some point. You’re nice and tall, so they might fit you, although they’ll be a bit baggy.”
“Baggy is fine. I’m grateful.” I glance at Bellamy. “Can I leave her here while I run these upstairs?”
“Of course.” Luna smiles at my daughter. “So you like muffins?”
I don’t bother to change when I’m upstairs. The clothes she gave me are clean and the ones I’m wearing are not, so I might as well save those for tonight.
The thought of sliding into freshly washed flannel pants and a faded t-shirt after my bath soundsamazing.
Downstairs, I find Bellamy’s face free of crumbs and her hands wiped clean.
