Chapter 6
Hope
Of course this was too good to be true. Luna’s farm isn’t a safe refuge, it’s a complicated mess just like the rest of the world, because it’s not just her here, it’s her and her breathtakingly handsome son who clearly doesn’t want me and my daughter here.
I can still feel his glare on my skin, even after his truck peels out and heads down the lane.
But when Mercy asks me if I’m having second thoughts—because she can read the problem with Zane, too—I shake my head.
I can survive this. I’ve survived much, much worse.
And Luna…her soft, quiet warmth makes up for a lot. The way she gets down to Bellamy’s level and talks to her… It’s hard, because it reminds me that my parents didn’t want anything to do with my pregnancy. But my daughter deserves a few days of that kind of attention, and I will work doubly hard to make it worth Luna’s time.
And I’ll ignore the way her son’s heavy gaze makes me feel, because that’s a shameful secret. I know all about burying shameful secrets. I’m a pro at that.
After Mercy leaves, Luna takes us up to the house, which is beautiful in a way that makes my chest ache. Log walls, high ceilings with exposed beams, and windows that look out over pastures that seem to roll right to the foot of the mountains.Everything is clean and tidy, simple but quality, and it smells like lemons and soap and just enough leather that feels right for a ranch.
Bellamy’s booster seat is in the foyer, under a family portrait of Luna surrounded by four strapping men in cowboy hats. I recognize Zane with a speed that alarms me, and force myself to focus on his three brothers. Two of them are bigger than him, and one is covered in tattoos.
I’m relieved when Luna pulls us deeper into the house. “We have a guest room upstairs.” She leads the way to the second floor, which has a wide central corridor, and at one end, another staircase going up to a third level. “That’s my space,” she gestures. “I have a studio upstairs.”
Turning around, she leads us to the other end of the hall, where there’s a bathroom and two bedrooms. “This is all yours. One of these rooms is my son Dax’s, but he’s travelling on the rodeo circuit right now. The other was Cash’s before he moved to town, but now it’s a guest room. Zane has a room on the lower level, and Ridge lives in a cabin beyond those trees, so you’ll have lots of privacy up here.”
The guest room is made up, and my small bag of clothing is sitting on the pretty quilt. The other bed across the hall has been stripped of its sheets.
“I can get you fresh linens,” she says.
“Bellamy will sleep with me." I worry I say it too abruptly, but Luna just smiles.
“I miss those days. There’s a closet full of towels in the bathroom. Help yourself to anything you need—shampoo, soap, whatever." Then she pauses at the door. “We’re grazers when it comes to food, but the kitchen is well stocked. You can have anything in the fridge or pantry, too.”
“Thank you. We don’t need much.”
“I’ll leave you here to get settled in, then. Come find me in the greenhouse once you’ve unpacked.”
That won’t take long, but I nod anyway.
After she leaves, I sink onto the bed and pull Bellamy close. She squirms immediately, already bored with sitting still.
“Gimme a minute, I need a snuggle, okay?” A moment to process, to breathe. To convince myself that accepting this help isn't the worst mistake I could make. It doesn’t matter if it is, though…I didn’t have any other viable options in front of me.
When Mercy left, she hugged me and whispered that I could call the diner anytime if I need anything.
But I don't have a phone. I was terrified of spending money on even a burner one, because I don’t know what Derek is capable of tracking and finding me if I get online in any way.
My skin crawls at the reminder of feeling watched all the time, even when he wasn’t on the compound.
"Mommy?" Bellamy taps my cheeks with her little hands. “Let’s goplay.”
I smooth her hair back, study her face. The bruise on her chin from yesterday's fall is already yellowing at the edges. "Do you like it here?"
Her head bobs with delight. "There are worms!"
A laugh bubbles up, unexpected and slightly hysterical. Of course that’s the selling point.
I take a deep breath, then pat her back. "Okay. Let's go see those worms."
The greenhouse work is actually soothing once I get into the rhythm of it. Luna shows me how to harvest the kale—a gentle twist and pull, leaving the smaller inner leaves to continue growing. The plants are massive, easily three feet tall, their leaves a deep, almost purple-tinged green.
