“I can take back that cottage, you know.” he retorted.
“You could, but you won’t.” she replied peacefully, and smiled beautifully when she curtseyed, “Good day, sir.”
Chapter 31
Dear Lizzie,
My darling, I do not know how to tell you this, but I am afraid that I must. Please do not think poorly of me for once again falling into this trap. I will always be grateful for all that you have done for me.
It is a terrible thing, but mother has decided to break her word to Mr. Darcy. It is not by accident, but quite deliberate. She insists that father made the promise, not she, and that she is not bound by it. She claims that she cannot be held responsible for our father’s affairs.
Most vile of all, Lizzie, have been her comments about you. She guessed that you were behind my rescue and sees it as a most unfilial and sly assault upon her authority. I fear she will never think well of you again. She certainly has no respect for either you or Mr. Darcy, except from when she speaks of his fortune or his connections. She boasts of those in the same breath that she defames your character - to the women whom we once called upon as friends! Lizzie, it is too terrible to describe. So many ears have been poisoned, and why? Because you alone were good enough to help me!
I protested to mother, trying to turn her away from such a spiteful revenge, but she would not listen. In truth, Lizzie, I believe that her correspondence with Mr. Collins has driven her out of her wits. Sometimes she says things which can only have come from him. She told me - and hark this! - that thereisno arrangement with Mr. Darcy. By his contract, my engagement was forbidden, or else you would not marry. But now that you are married, you cannot be un-wed. There is no reason for mama to keep her end of the bargain. You have nothing left that she wants, and no hold over her.
Mr. Collins is to return to Meryton three weeks hence. He has been assured that he can continue his odious advances towards me unchallenged - and that he is sure to be accepted without delay.
In truth, Lizzie, my life here has become so miserable that I long for an escape. I am sure that is our mother’s intention: her treatment of me worsens every day, so that Mr. Collins’s offer looks more and more attractive.
I am not permitted to leave the house, nor to find solace in dear Charlotte’s company. All pleasant diversions are forbidden to me. I am not allowed to read, draw, walk or do anything to alleviate my boredom. If I grow desperate, then mama allows me to embroider a pair of silk gloves. I am to wear them to my wedding.
Writing to you has been likewise forbidden - and I must apologise for the silence which this has caused. It must have worried you. Dear Kitty managed to sneak a pen and paper under my pillow this evening. Lydia promises to take this letter into town on her morning walk. She calls it a ‘lark’, but even her playfulness has been tempered by mama’s determination. Ithink our sisters are frightened that they will soon be as cast off as pitilessly as you were, and as I am soon to be.
I am nearly out of ink, dearest. I can only say that I love you. I am truly sorry that your sacrifice was for nothing. Please, please forgive me - and let me sign the name we shared for one last time.
Jane Bennet
Chapter 32
They had barely spoken in the two weeks since their argument. Elizabeth blushed fiercely and avoided Darcy’s eyes when they met and claimed weariness each night instead of coming down for dinner. She spent most of her time with Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds. In turn, Darcy had buried himself in the household accounts. Putting a closed door between them felt like a good way to ease the tension from the air.
As Mrs. Reynolds had suggested, Darcy had not pressed Elizabeth for her company. He understood that his wife was not angry, but embarrassed. He could see her remembering their feverish night together every time their eyes accidentally met. As the days passed her blushes faded, but she still could not meet his eyes.
Recalling things which she had admired during their honeymoon, Darcy sent away for every gift he could think of. Once they were delivered, he realised his mistake. Showering Elizabeth with expensive gifts would not make her happy, it would simply make her uncomfortable. Even the modest things he had given her before, like her necklace, had only ever made her blush and mumble. She was already embarrassed enough!
Grand gestures thus discarded, Darcy turned his mind to more personal gifts. He asked Mrs. Reynolds what Elizabeth liked, but would never ask for. The woman thought for a long time and then replied that Mrs. Darcy often spoke to Georgiana about her beautiful harp. They had cleaned it and brought it up to Georgiana’s bedroom, where it shone in the light of the large window. It had been tuned but never touched.
Sometimes, when Elizabeth mentioned the instrument, Georgiana’s large, slow eyes drifted over to the harp and lingered there.
Darcy immediately arranged for Elizabeth to have lessons with Georgiana’s old music master, a wizened old Russian called Mr. Kozlov. After travelling the world to spread beautiful music, the man’s hands had finally seized up with arthritis. Rather than abandon the art forever, he taught a few select students. Georgiana had been his first and (as he often said) his greatest. Darcy always suspected that Kozlov said that about all of his students, but he enjoyed the proud smile that Georgiana wore when her instructor praised her.
Kozlov was not thrilled about teaching an absolute beginner, but Darcy paid him a generous sum to change his outlook. He also purchased a second harp, so there was no need to move Georgiana’s back downstairs. Darcy knew that Elizabeth’s favourite room was Lady Anne’s cosy library, so that was where the harp was set up (secretly, in the dead of night, so that she might discover it for herself. Darcy was bad at choosing gifts but had at least a flair for presentation).
Darcy did not go to see Elizabeth’s reaction. He longed to see her smile, but he did not want to make things awkward and darken what he wanted to be a beautiful moment. For an hour he heard tentative notes ringing out, and then Kozlov arrived for his dailylesson. Elizabeth learned a few cautious scales and a simple folk piece which gradually became more confident. She practiced for a long time after her teacher left. Darcy sat in his study with his eyes closed, drinking in the soft pleasure of hearing music in Pemberley once more.
That evening Mrs. Reynolds brought him a note. It was in Elizabeth’s writing, and just a few teasing words:All angels have harps, do they not? Thank you, sir.
“There is something else, sir.” the housekeeper said, smiling when he put the note down, “When Miss Darcy heard the harp being played, sir… she smiled.”
“Smiled!”
“Only for a moment, sir, and you had to look to see it - but yes, sir! We must urge Mrs. Darcy to keep playing, sir.”
“I do not think she will need much encouragement.” Darcy laughed, hearing the scales starting up again already.
After that gesture their relationship was an odd mixture of warmth and embarrassment. It was as if there were two conversations going on: one, where they were pleasant and enjoyed seeing each other (from a respectable distance). Another, where they could not summon a single word when they passed each other in the hallway.
As became a habit, they smiled ruefully at each other and then went their separate ways.
