He expressed a desire to see you, Lizzie.
I suggested that you might use the wedding for a chance at reconciliation - if that is what you wish. I know that you were always very close to papa, and he misses you keenly. While sentimentality cannot erase his bad choices this past year, I feel that we should make allowances for his ill health and desire to see to our family’s security before it is beyond his reach.
But that is my opinion, dearest, not a fact. I would not fault you for continuing your silence.
Now, as to my delay:
On the day we arrived in Longbourn - indeed, to the very hour! - we were joined by Colonel Fitzwilliam. He, like us, had come to ask our father for his blessing.
Elizabeth, can you guess? Father saidno.
His reasons were, I am afraid to say, extremely sensible. He cut to the heart of the matter at once. Mary has known Fitzwilliam for barely a month. A month! So much has happened that it feels as if he has been part of our lives forever! Yet a month it has been.
Father said that its all couples must allow themselves enough time for "the infatuation to fade", which he said should be written as the eleventh commandment! There were references to secrets and illusions, thoughtless vows and years of regret. Then he told poor Fitzwilliam to read Shakespeare's 130?? Sonnet. Oh, it was so humiliating to see him lecture, but you know how pompous and muddled his thoughts become.
Father told Fitzwilliam that when he can honestly describe Mary's flaws, then he will start to believe that she will be respected.
Oh, how glad I am that Mary did not hear that! You must not tell her, my love.
The terrible thing is that I know what papa means. Fitzwilliam danced into the study declaring Mary beautiful and flawless and all manner of flatteries, loud enough for the whole house to hear him. Papa called me in before he answered, to give an account of Mary's thoughts. That is how I heard the rest.
Fitzwilliam could not have convinced father more that he is a shallow, inconstant swain with an impetuous flair.
Can you picture Mary with a man like that? Certainly, father could not.
In his ardour and haste, Fitzwilliam has made a grave misstep.
I am trying to explain matters to father, but it is taking time. Father feels as if he has made too many poor judgements recently, and is resolved that he shall not make another.
I had delayed this letter in the hope of his acceptance, but it seems that it will take a long time to come about. Instead, dear Lizzie, you must be satisfied with only one sister's happiness - at present.
We are planning to stay in Meryton while preparations are made for the wedding. While you know that I would not delay that blissful moment, we thought it sensible to wait for a few months. The haste of your wedding is still much talked of, and I would not like to be chased away from my home by unwarranted gossip.
It feels strange to be home, Lizzie. Even to think of it as ‘home’ is peculiar to me, for it has felt like a cage for so long. The building, certainly, does not matter. I was all-but sold for thesake of these bricks, and have no attachment to them at all. I would tear them, if I could.
Nor does Netherfield Park feel like a home, even though I am spending most of my time there. Bingley has insisted that I learn as much as possible about the estate before it becomes my own. It is an excuse which convinced dear papa to let me spend most of my time away from home, albeit with a chaperone.
(Before you pull a face, I assure you, Lizzie, that even if I were not chaperoned, I would act with proper decorum. Dear Charles and I are content to wait until our wedding night, now that we know it will surely arrive).
Home, I think, has found me outside of the buildings. I am home, because I am where I am supposed to be, with people who love me. This is my home, and I am glad of it. For a while Pemberley was my home, and I thank you so much for that, my dear sister.
I hope you will not be offended if I remain here, now, instead of returning to you? I know that we thought of an immediate return, but the danger we anticipated has not come to pass, and I feel safe. This is where my life will begin, and I shall not enter it as a stranger.
There is much to do! I shall learn how to be a bride, since I was such an abject failure as a daughter.
And you, I think, will enjoy having some solitude to do the same. Please give Mr. Darcy my best wishes.
My love to Georgiana, and all of my sweetest prayers for you all. I shall see you when the snow starts to fall.
Jane
Elizabeth could not read this aloud, of course, but she summarised it as well as she could. When it became clear that Jane would not be returning to Pemberley for some time, Georgiana started to cry.
“Hush, dearest.” Elizabeth cooed, putting down the letter at once to clutch her little sister’s hands. “We shall take you to the wedding. You shall see her then. Until then, darling, we can choose you a dress, and you can help me with music, and…”
“No.” Lady Catherine spoke abruptly. Lizzie flinched and looked up to see the most majestic lip-dabbing she had ever witnessed in her life. When every crumb of toast had been banished, Lady Catherine put down her napkin and explained. “Georgiana is coming to Rosings Park with me.”
Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Seeing this, and the immediate argument on her nephew’s lips, Lady Catherine smiled thinly.
