Then there was touch - motion - sound - touch. There was the softness of a cushion against her back and the safety of the firelit parlour. The room was dim and quiet, and she was sobbing - sobbing - sobbing against a warm, breathing chest. A slow heartbeat thudded against her ear, steady and soothing, and she felt strong arms around her shoulders.
“Charles…” she croaked, her fingers twisting into his sleeves. “Oh, I am going to Hell!”
“Hush. You are not even going to Meryton.” he laughed weakly and drew her up against his shoulder. “You are staying right here, Jane.”
“I am making a damp patch.”
“Ah, very well. I give you permission to move to my other shoulder. But no further!” despite his anxiously teasing tone, Bingley’s arm tightened protectively around Jane’s shoulders. “I refuse to let you out of my sight.”
Jane, having never been the recipient of such valiant passion before, knew not how to reply. She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder, not minding the damp fabric sticking to hercheek. A dull throb was lurking behind her eyes, and even the fire seemed too bright. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Jane,” Bingley murmured, “I assure you that you are not going to Hell. I agree with Darcy: you are one of the few people in the world who is truly good. If you go to Hell, sweet lady, then there is no hope at all for the rest of us.”
Jane scoffed at that.
Bingley tapped his fingers reprovingly against her shoulder, “I take that to mean that you think otherwise.”
“I am not good. The way that I have behaved… the way that I spoke to mama…!”
“That was marvellous!” The man’s voice was completely earnest, filled with genuine awe, “The courage it must have taken to defend yourself was remarkable. I confess that it made me jealous. I never would have found the nerve to speak to Caroline like that, even though she surely deserved it.”
“That is different. You rejoice in Miss Bingley’s punishment because of what she did to Georgiana. It wasjustice.This is different.”
“No.” Bingley said softly, “I rejoice at both. My sister and your mother both hurt somebody I love.”
Jane sat up, pushing herself away with abrupt haste. “I must go. I have to… goodnight, Mr. Bingley.”
“Whymust you go? Because I said I love you?” Bingley smiled shakily, “You have known that since the day we met. It cannot possibly surprise you now. I just wanted to be as brave as you are and say it out loud. Who knows when that might happen again?”
Jane twisted her hands together. She made no further movement towards the door but did not step closer. Her face was stricken with agonized indecision.
“What should I do, Charles?” she cried, “What can be done? I cannot… even were you to make me an offer, I could not…”
“Jane, please sit down.” Bingley entreated, eyes wide and puppyish, “I know that a word will not make a difference. Iknowthat it is just a word, and means nothing compared to… to the way that it feels when you hold my hand, or the way I cannot stop smiling when you are at my side, or the way that I dream about you every night, or the thousand things I want to show you, and how I long to spend the rest of my life loving you…”
“Stop,” Jane whispered tearfully, “Oh, I cannot bear it.”
The man clenched his hands. They trembled, and his eyes shone. “I am a fool, Jane, but I am not an imbecile. There is still much to be done. I cannot make you an offer now. Your mother is still too much under Mr. Collins’s thumb to accept it, and you will be tortured by guilt once more. I dearly want you to be able to reconcile with her one day, when all of this is behind us. Proposing to you now - or suggesting that we flee to Scotland tonight - would make you an outcast forever. That is even before we think of the danger it will bring to your sisters, whom I care for deeply.”
“Then what can be done?”
“Jane, I would like to ask your permission to speak to your father. We can use the ball as a distraction and slip away. If we travel through the night then, by the time Mr. Collins realises we are gone, it will be too late for him to interfere. As soon as your father agrees to our engagement it cannot be undone. Your mother will be unable to prevent it.”
Jane caught her breath at the audacity of the idea. “I would take such a risk for my own sake, but what of my sisters?”
“That is where Lady Catherine might help us. Once she lends her support to a cause, she permits no deviations from it. If Mr. Collins insists that he will marry you, then he cannot suddenly switch his attention to your sister without earning his patronesses’ disapproval. He must set his course and stay true from the moment he makes his petition.” Bingley frowned thoughtfully, “Lady Catherine is a battleship, Jane, but she is an honest and Godly woman. She will not look kindly upon Mr. Collins’ schemes. He will do a great deal to hide them from her.”
“His behaviour is certainly unbecoming of a rector.”
Bingley thought of the words that Collins had whispered into Jane’s ear and felt hot anger surge through his veins. “It is unbecoming of anape!The man has no shame, but I think that Lady Catherine will make him regret it.”
Jane smiled. It was a strained expression, humouring Bingley’s plan without completely trusting that it would work. Her trembling smile, the mark of the life that they desperately wanted to share, made Bingley’s heart turn over. He took her into his arms by instinct and kissed her with infinite gentleness.
“Miss Bennet,” he breathed, “Please give me leave to speak to your father. I would make you my wife.”
She reached up and ran her hand lightly along his cheek. “Oh, my love, in my heart I already am.”
Jane and Bingley did not sleep at all that night. Clinging to her defiance and her profound love, twisted by fear and the thought of losing him, the young lady had one impassioned plea for the man she adored:Make me your wife.Make me yours, and yours alone. Take me away from him forever.
