The woman raised a scolding eyebrow and ignored the levity, making Lizzie blush. “When he returned home to us, Mrs. Darcy, I was amazed. Not by the recovery of his body, but by the utter transformation in his spirit. That determination to succeed, the unwillingness to compromise - my goodness, he was always so stubborn! - but until you arrived, he used it as a weapon, not as a shield. It used to make him sharp; now, it makes him strong.”
“He is implacable.”
“In some matters, yes. You cannot see the great effect you have had on him, and I wish you could. When someone loves you like that, madam, you should not doubt them the instant they do something unexpected.”
Elizabeth recognised the hint, “You are referring to the butler.”
“You looked furious, madam - almost betrayed. I wonder, were you planning to seek out the master to ask for his explanation?”
Elizabeth looked away. “No. No, I was… I’m angry. It hurts my head and my heart to think of his drinking, and I would do anything to keep him from it. It is… exhausting. I cannot outmanoeuvre him.”
“Outmanoeuvre! You are not at war, madam.”
“Perhaps I used the wrong word. I meant only that the man who drinks is different from the man whom I know and respect. I have no wish to spend a single second in the drinker’s company. I tell myself that Darcy feels the same way. Indeed, he told me as much himself! So why does hetesthimself so constantly?”
Elizabeth shook her head bitterly. She sipped her tea, realised that the cup was cold and empty, and put it down on the table with a loudclink.
“My husband must challenge himself. His pride demands it. I cannot relax knowing that he might fail. If he slips, then he will need me. Imustbe ready for that. It used to be simple. I would check the decanter he kept in his room, and that was enough. But now… with an open cellar, Mrs. Reynolds, and now the invitation for our guests to drink… oh, I know that is why he has done it. He wishes to give my mother as little to criticise as possible. It is a generous gesture, and I should be grateful. I should! He has done it for me. But… but what if it is too much for him to bear?”
Mrs. Reynolds silently took a handkerchief out of her sleeve and handed it to Elizabeth.
“The master knows what he is capable of.” the older woman said softly, “You must try to trust him, Mrs. Darcy.”
Elizabeth sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Why do you still call me Mrs. Darcy? I would have you call me Elizabeth. You are one of my dearest friends.”
The woman froze, and then spoke carefully, “You are upset, madam, and when you arrived here you were lonely. I am sure that in time you will regret saying such a thing to a servant.”
“If I ever do, then I would have become a wicked and ungrateful woman!” Lizzie cried, “Should I pretend to be the pompous Mrs. Darcy and give you gifts and a purse full of money, as my husband did? I do not confide in you as a servant, I honour you as a friend.”
“You are avoiding the subject, madam.”
“We are alone, Mrs. Reynolds, and it will damage neither my reputation nor yours for us to use our first names. Since you know everything about me, including certain details which I would not even tellJane,I think it is quite ridiculous for us to be so formal. I would have us be equals, at least when we are alone - andcertainlywhen we are so candid.”
Mrs. Reynolds looked down at her feet. It was the first time Elizabeth had seen her truly speechless. She worried, then, that she had insulted the woman in her outburst. She had not meant to sound so aggressive, only to communicate the real affection which made her want to ignore the ‘proper’ addresses between a servant and her mistress.
“Elizabeth,” Mrs. Reynolds said quietly, looking up with a distinct challenge in her eye, “Will you go to the master now?”
“No,Margaret. I trust him.” Elizabeth replied, and realised as she said the words that they were true. Her teasing smile became genuine, and she stood up with a grateful sigh, “I shall go and dress for dinner, Mrs. Reynolds. Will you send my maid up with some hot water?”
“Yes, Mrs. Darcy.” the housekeeper replied in the same tone and then added in a low voice: “Everything will be well, Elizabeth. You shall see. If you need anyone to speak to, you are always welcome here.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth whispered and kissed the older woman’s cheek.
Chapter 62
Of all of the assembled guests that evening it was Colonel Fitzwilliam who truly had no idea what perils the evening held in store. All he knew was that they were expecting two more guests for dinner: the mother and the cousin of the young Bennet ladies. Having no knowledge of their uneasy relationship, he thought that the evening marked an early arrival to the ball, and one that the ladies were sure to enjoy.
They did not look like daughters on the cusp of a reunion.
The real warning sign was that Bingley had a pensive expression. It was so unlike the man to have anything other than affable buffoonery written upon his face that Fitzwilliam was taken aback. It was as if the man had come into the room wearing nothing but a legionnaire’s cloak and a laurel crown. Bingley’s obvious unease made Fitzwilliam sensitive to the dour expressions that the ladies were trying (more successfully) to hide beneath pretty smiles.
Jane joined Bingley as soon as he came into the room, and they stood close together with their heads lowered. Their mouths moved, but they neither smiled nor became lively at the other’s replies. Fitzwilliam figured out that whatever sobering fact was making the ladies uneasy had already been confided; Bingleynodded and grasped Jane’s hand like a captain sending his soldiers off to battle.
The colonel glanced at Mary. She would not even confide in him if the house was on fire and she was the only one who knew where to find a bucket of water. She was so prickly and distant at the best of times that he dreaded to think how closely she would guard somethingimportant.The man had spent many hours with her, however, and out of pure self-preservation had learned how to read her expression. She, too, was worried.
Fitzwilliam sidled over to Mary and cleared his throat.
“If you have a cold, pray do not share it with me.” she snapped at once.
