“I know,” she said softly, “but it doesn’t mean I no longer feel the mortification and disgust.”
Algenon swallowed down his anger for probably the thousandth time in the last seven years. If only he’d been more aware. If only he’d been quicker or had the knowledge that he did now.
A glimpse of Javenia’s pale face made him bite back his own feelings of guilt. This wasn’t about him. He needed to focus on her.
“It wasn’t your fault, Javenia.”
A quiet, stilted laugh sputtered out of her. “I know. Do not fear. I have been repeating that to myself.”
“Well, at least you listened to me on one thing.”
She tilted her head and rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
He smiled. If Javenia could poke at him, she’d be all right. He let the chatter of the other guests fill in the silence between them, knowing she’d need time to gain control over her senses.
Javenia inspected her cream-colored gloves. “You should probably not linger near me.”
“Why is that?” He chanced a glance at her. A little color was returning to her cheeks.
“I would not want to set everyone’s tongues to wagging, as my mother has been so kind to remind me.”
He choked down a laugh. “When have you ever cared what London thinks of you?”
She didn’t smile. There was an odd tension about her eyes, a testament that her painful memories were still bothering her. She glanced at the guests, and he followed her gaze. Lady Plum’s lips were pursed as she beat her fan in a firm, steady rhythm.
“I do not care about my reputation.” She lowered her voice, her gaze intensifying. “I care about yours.”
Him? She cared about how Society viewed him? The compliments she’d been giving, the touch at dinner, and now her sudden interest in his reputation? Javenia was declaring her intentions as clearly as two caged birds could, and he didn’t know what to do with the information. Like a bucking horse, he wanted to cast off his father’s threats and throw caution to the wind. Maybe love was really all they needed to weather such a storm.
Then he noticed Javenia’s fingers still worrying her gown, and his heart dropped. Not a person in the room knew the significance of the motion, but what if they did? What if all their friends and family knew what had happened all those years ago?
It would break Javenia. He could never do that to her. But which would hurt more? If she truly cared for him, wouldn’t losing each other be just as painful?
Time to test the waters and see how deep Javenia’s dedication ran. He shifted until she looked at him, then he gave her a cheeky smile. “If you are so worried about my reputation, why were you fondling my thigh under the table?”
Color flamed in her cheeks and her neck blotched. She darted a glance around the room, no doubt to see who might be close enough to hear. Several groups of people stood not far away.
He lowered his voice and leaned closer, partly to apply pressure, but mostly because he desperately wanted to be close to her. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I expect an explanation, Javenia, and it better be a good one.”
She sat up straighter and clasped her hands in her lap. Her proper posture was disappointing, but at least she’d let go of her skirt. If she’d kept going, she’d have worried a hole in the delicate material, and that would have been a travesty. Madam Javier’s masterpieces were not cheap.
“I hardly think this is the place to-to…” She swallowed hard, and he could not help the grin that split his face.
It was rare he caught Javenia off her guard. It thrilled him. Such a stutter meant only one thing. She felt strongly about the subject. So strong that words had failed her.
However, as much as he wished to pursue the conversation, she was correct about their current company.
“I agree,” he said softly. “Are you to attend the opera tomorrow night?”
She shook her head. “And even if I were, that is not a good place to speak either.”
He frowned. “How about Lady Jersey’s card party?”
Again, she gave a denial. If only Eddie and Melior had come to London for the season, then they could have met at Kendall House without anyone suspecting anything untoward.
His gaze shot to John and Susannah. Newhurst House was a little out of the way, but at least it was neutral ground. It would have to do.
“Expect an invitation to dine from the Newhursts.”
