“Nope,” she denied.“Just trying to process.”
“I thought you’d be happy.I thought it’s what you wanted.”
She debated on whether or not to throw the bottle at his head, but decided it’d be a perfectly good waste of beer.“It’s what I wanted.Past tense.You are unbelievable.What kind of ego does a man have to have to think that a woman would be waiting on him for three years while he sowed his oats and finished up his career?And then what, Zeke?Did you think I’d run into your arms and everything would be okay?”
His cheeks flushed as his own temper rose and satisfaction crept comfortably through her.
“What makes you think that I’m not completely happy in my life as it is right now?”she asked.“Or that you’d assume I’m not involved with someone who does know the meaning of the word compromise.”
“That’s nonsense, Mia,” he said, scraping back his chair as he stood.“You gave me an ultimatum.And when I didn’t cave like a whipped puppy you walked away like a spoiled brat.”
“The only thing I ever asked of you was for you to love me enough.To put us first before the job for once.It was about priorities.You think I wanted to see you executed like I saw the Vaqueros do to Rachel?”
The Vaqueros were an outlaw motorcycle gang that spread from Washington, Oregon and Idaho p into parts of Canada.They ran drugs and guns and they were very good at what they did.They were one of the most violent gangs in the country.
“To stare into your eyes and see the knowledge that you were going to die just before they pulled the trigger?”she said, her voice breaking.“You know as well as I do that if we hadn’t busted them and caught the dirty cop giving away our identities and locations that you would be dead.Because they already had you in their sights.”
“But we did catch them and we did bring them down.At least that cell.And you gave away your own identity by taking a bullet for me.Which still makes me furious.”
“Because I blew my cover or because I loved you enough to try and protect you?”
“Because you almost died, Mia.”
“Everything that happened in that warehouse that day was a sign telling us it was time to get out.Your cover was blown, my cover was blown, and we lost three good cops.But what do you do?”She was nearly yelling now and she didn’t care.“You made sure yours was the first face I saw when I woke up.I was finally able to fight my way through the pain meds, and it felt like cinder blocks were sitting on top of my chest.Every breath felt like knives were stabbing me.
“And the first thing out of your mouth is that you’ve created a new identity and regrouped the task force to go after another Vaquero cell in a different territory.You were angry you were going to have to lie low for a while and reestablish a new cover.
“Not once did you ever mention our relationship or that you loved me or even the fact that you were glad I was alive.All you could talk about was getting back to the job.And all I wanted was to get as far away from undercover work as I could.”
She held the beer bottle to her cheek.The cool glass felt good against her heated skin.“Rachel was dead, and I felt like I should’ve been.Do you know how much therapy and how many years of nightmares I went through before I stopped seeing her die in my head?I needed out.That was the last straw.I couldn’t function and I couldn’t be a good cop.What I needed was you.”
“Six weeks, Mia.Six weeks was how long it took for you to open your eyes and look at me.I was there every single day and night with you.I lived and breathed you.For six weeks I’d had time to process and reassess and make decisions.I’d already said the things you wanted to hear.I begged and pleaded with you to wake up.Said prayers I hadn’t remembered I’d known that you’d survive.I told you every chance I got that I loved you.But you didn’t hear because your stubborn self jumped in front of a bullet.”
“And I would do it again.That bullet would’ve killed you.I needed you,” she said again.
“And I needed to get back out there and get the ones we didn’t catch for putting you in that hospital bed.What I needed was for you to understand.”
She sighed, defeated.“There’s no point in this, Zeke.The past is the past, and maybe we were just never meant to be.It was incredible while it lasted.But you and I both know cops don’t make good life partners.”
Mia tossed her beer bottle in the trash and moved to clear the dishes.
“I think that’s wrong,” he said.“We know plenty of cops that have been able to make it work.But maybe we were both too selfish to realize what we had and how hard we had to fight for it.Maybe you’re standing there now, scared to death, because you realize you didn’t move on like you wanted to.Because you still love me.”
ChapterFour
“You’re out of your mind,”she said, the words rushing out.
Zeke knew he was pushing.And he didn’t care.He moved closer, boxing her in until her back pressed against the refrigerator.
“I don’t think so, baby.And it’s time for both of us to stop running and face the facts.We both failed each other.”
The last three years had haunted him.The mistakes they’d both made.The angry words and demands.And when it came down to it, the biggest issue was that they were both too stubborn and had too much pride.When she’d told him she was done with undercover work and that she wanted them both to move to a different area of law enforcement since it had become too dangerous, his ego had immediately reared its head.
Somewhere deep down he knew she’d been right.That getting back in the game was something he might not come out the winner of.And that was the thing—he’d wanted to win at everything—the argument, the job—and his own stubbornness had made them both losers.
The realization of what they both had to gain just by giving in a little made the tension creep from his shoulders.His body was still on high alert—how could it not be with her standing there looking flushed and angry and beautiful?
Her face was scrubbed clean, but she had a natural beauty that had no need of makeup.Her hair was pinned up in a messy knot and strands had come loose so it framed her face.The clothes she’d put on weren’t meant to entice.Just lounge pants and a long-sleeve T-shirt, but he could see the rapid rise and fall of her breathing and he wanted nothing more than to pull her close and never let go.
