I glanced over at Roxie, who was mid-laugh, eyes bright as she and Livvi talked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I feel it too.”
And the realization startled me.
I’d spent so long believing that calm meant complacency, that ease meant losing my edge. But sitting here, hand in Roxie’s, I didn’t feel slower or softer.
I felt stable.
Like everything else could finally build from here instead of constantly threatening to fall apart.
Later, as plates were cleared and drinks were refilled, Ridge grew unusually quiet.
Talon noticed immediately … probably brother’s intuition. “What’s wrong with you?”
Ridge scowled. “Nothing.”
“Liar.”
He sighed. “We got a new transfer.”
I shrugged. “So? We get new swimmers joining all the time.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not a fan of this one.”
Talon smirked. “Uh-oh, are they a backstroker? Scared they’re going to steal your thunder?”
“No one is stealing my thunder,” Ridge said adamantly. “She’s just maddening.”
Livvi’s eyebrows shot up. “She?”
The room went still.
Roxie’s lips twitched. “Oh, this isexcellent.”
Ridge groaned. “Do not do this.”
“It’s not like you will be competing with her. Why are you so threatened?” I asked.
“I’m not threatened.”
Livvi leaned forward. “You’re acting like you’re threatened.”
Roxie grinned. “What’s her name?”
“I’m not telling you guys.”
Talon clapped his hands. “I give it three weeks before you’re in love.”
“Shut up.”
I leaned back, Roxie’s hand warm in mine, laughter filling the room.
This—this—was what I’d almost convinced myself I didn’t deserve.
Not because I hadn’t worked hard enough or didn’t want it badly enough, but because somewhere along the way I’d learned to equate love with conditions. With performance. With being useful or impressive or worth keeping only as long as I was winning.
I’d told myself that needing someone made you vulnerable. That letting someone see you when you weren’t standing on a podium was dangerous. Easier tostay alone. Easier to keep my eyes on the target. Easier to believe that anything good never lasted.
