I hate her, but my wolf and I can’t agree on that. When I’m not preoccupied with pack duties, I hype myself up to kill her.
Today will be the day, I’d tell myself.I’ll be strong like my father, avenge his death and make my parents and pack proud. I fantasized about putting her head on a stake, and that everyone would cheer. But every day I try, my wolf stands in the way. And every day I don’t, it only becomes more and more difficult.
Watching my mate without her knowledge was arousing. To know the target of my vengeance is oblivious to how unsafe and at the same time, the safest she’ll ever be, with me around. No one would dare stand between a hunter and its next meal. Not unless they were willing to die for it.
Sometimes, I make my presence obvious, salivating as her cold heart races, and her green eyes widen while she hunts the source of the lurking threat. I have come to love toying with her.
If my pack found her, they’d execute her immediately out of pure hatred of rogues. That’s why I have to make sure no one finds her. I can’t have them killing her before I can. Of course, this means I need to know where she is at all times. How else would I steer my pack away from her or learn everything about who I’m hunting?
I don’t have a plan. I have an unhealthy obsession with the wolf who killed my father.
Chapter TWO
Jay
A week after Colin was killed
Aweek ago, we lost Colin to the hybrid queen. Now, those of us left have suffered without his leadership. We are tired and on the brink of starvation. We have lost any connection to the crown’s alliance to easy access to food and water. Our provider sometimes had little access to resources.
Colin may not have always been the most consistent with his moods, but he wasn’t a monster. At least, not to me. All of us were broken. Just like we were all outcasts when he took us in. He ensured we had permanency somewhere.
Colin never said exactly why he decided to harbor a bunch of misfits like us, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.
Colin knew firsthand what it was like to be unwanted. His own family found his neurodivergence to be a liability that threatened their “flawless” reputation and, ultimately, their chances at the throne. To think his family thought of him as unstable baffled me. Colin only ever provided us with stability. He made sure we had somewhere to sleep something to eat and a place to exist. And he didn’t have to do any of it.
He was selfless like that. But now we’re paying for it.
We relied too heavily on his generosity because we’re falling apart without him. Ever since we lost him to the hybrids, nothing has gone right, and none of us know what to do. We were recruited by Colin into his horde because we couldn’t relyon anyone but ourselves. None of us knew how to lead, much less follow.
We’re different from a pack. Our intentions are different. Packs aim to keep the majority alive. They hunt to feed everyone, but our hunts secure enough so none of us have to share. Sounds greedy, but it’s hard not to be when you know what it’s like to have nothing. We’re only trying to survive in a hostile environment.
Packs are also different from us because most have a special commonality, like the Crescents, for example. They are known for their fighting because of their king’s telepathic reading. The Bloodhounds have their hunting skills allowing for a lavish feast every fall—something Colin told us in his pep talk before we attacked. It didn’t sit well, knowing they had so much while we struggled.
Besides, none of the herd belongs to a pack or clan. We aren’t similar in any way. A lack of commonality makes us special.
The looks pack members give when they see us, it’s either pure hatred or fear. Sometimes it’s both. They don’t understand us, and people are conditioned to be scared of those they can’t understand.
There are two types of people: those who understand common courtesy and honor it and those who abuse it. Packless wolves cherish common courtesy rather than abuse it, unlike prim and proper sheltered wolves. In my experience, my chances of survival have been greater with whom packs would consider the weird and strange creatures.
They’re afraid we’ll taint theirperfectimage. They see us as savage and uncivilized creatures. Which is ironic because they are the ones who are ill-mannered for casting out their own.
Colin understood that. Hell, he was cast away by the most pretentious of the vampire clans with potential claim to the throne. This fueled his plan to change things for us.
Colin almost succeeded. He was about to bond himself to his queen, Alaina. Colin promised he would win over the people with her at his side. Doing so would allow him to incorporate us into society, so we would no longer have to hide, steal or commit other heinous sins to survive. But Colin’s heart was his downfall, and his dream of us living among the rest died with him.
Just like he predicted, our request to exist in the absence of discomfort threatened the packs’ and clans’ comfortability in familiarity.
In other words, they saidfuck the outcasts, forcing us to continue living in the shadows.
Colin failed his mission, but he didn’t fail us. He tried. Which is more than I can say for anyone else.
He found me when I was alone in the woods, practically bait to the next creature to come along. The herd took me in, and although I never felt a sense of belonging, I was never made to feel unwelcome. At least not by them.
I’ve never belonged to anything or anyone, much less know how to help others believe they do. But I owe it to Colin to not let his legacy die with him. So, I continue to stick with the herd.
Colin and I were close. My leading many of his attacks earned his pride, most noticeably after I killed the alpha. The only praise I didn’t care for. Killings were rare in those raids, so I didn’t have to do them. Colin’s praise mattered more than the thought of my soul ascending to heaven. Those moments were the only times I felt I was doing something right.
Unfortunately, my legendary kill created more problems for me. I’m not paranoid, but someone is after me. Ever since I killed their alpha, I got the sense someone is watching me and a looming feeling that I’m in danger.
