I jump at a blaring alarm.
“Here we go!” Freckles cackles.
“What’s happening?” I ask.
“The gates are unlatching.”
Pop!
Pop!
Pop!
Pop!
“What’s that?” I look between the two she-wolves beside me.
“They’ve released the hounds,” the blunt one says. “Run.”
I peer behind me and sure enough the first- and second-floor gates drop, thudding as heavy metal hits the dirt.
Collectively, we take off into a sprint. My feet hit the ground hard. I’m running as fast as I can. Suddenly, I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’ve made the wrong decision. Do I really want to be chosen by someone I don’t know?
The wind breezes by me through my hair and playful growls echo behind us. I make eye contact with another she-wolf keeping pace. In this moment, I never felt freer. I didn’t think I’d see the day where I’d run freely with other wolves like this—packwolves for that matter.
When I break through the tree line, it’s like I’ve entered an entirely different world—one resembling a warzone. The teeth of wolves are clashing and fur is flying as they fight over females. Everywhere I look, I see feral behavior and bloodshed.
Cries of passion come from wolves mating, cries for help and cries to stop the fighting. Above me, women are climbing trees to get away from wolves chasing them.
It’s sensory overload for me. Flashbacks from the dog fights I endured creep into my vision and make my heart pound. It’s blackening, and I am losing control.
My wolf whimpers.
I can’t see.
With my hands out in front of me, slowly and cautiously, I fumble as I try to feel around for a tree—something. Anything.
Twigs snap and bushes rustle. Low growls surround me, but the thumping of my heart is making it difficult to pinpoint exactly from where. Once I find a trunk, I lean against it, giving myself a chance to get control of my breathing.
Alright, Jay, come on, push through it.
I’m able to regain some tunnel vision. It’s not much, but it’s enough to see where I am, so I can find a place to hide. But that’s not enough for this situation. I’m not safe out in the open like this, I can’t keep going like this. It’s not enough, I need to lay down.
I’m trying to breathe through it when a sharp pain seers through my neck as someone sinks their teeth into me.
Screaming and flailing, I search for the source. I reach over my shoulder and find a face full of fur. I grab the wolf’s head, drop to my hip, shift into him and roll to slip my hands under his neck. As I roll, his hold on my neck tears free, taking flesh with it. Nausea sets in, weakening my grip.
I’m completely disoriented from my surroundings. Confused, bleeding and marked against my will, my panic attack comes in full force.
Fuck!This is the most inconvenient time to have a panic attack.
I locate a thriving fern in higher ground. I need to lower my blood pressure, breathe, then recoup.
The fern will have to do.
I crawl under and lay face up, making sure my body is covered. Thankfully, there are enough wolves out here to throw off my scent—hopefully. I only need a few minutes.
Okay, breathe in . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . Hold . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . And out . . . two . . . three . . . four.
